Attempted Suicide
by AlphaOmegaPsi
Summary: When Roxas' brother Sora dies in a car crash, Roxas blames himself and tries to commit suicide. However, he is rescued by a mysterious redhead. AU, Akuroku, Akudemy, implied Soriku, implied HaynerxSeifer.
1. Prologue: Behind Blue Eyes

My brother Sora was my best friend. We would spend all our time together. You never got one of us without the other. We even shared a room and were never bothered by it. We were about as close as two people could be. I guess that's why life seemed so empty after the accident.

_No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes_

Sora and I both equally knew that he was our parents' favorite. But Sora wasn't a braggart; he never said anything about it. It was still obvious. Our parents always praised him, always bought him expensive things that he didn't need. They barely even noticed I was alive. But Sora never acted like I didn't exist. Not once.

_And no one knows  
What it's like to be hated  
To be fated to telling only lies_

I'd like to say it had been a normal day, but that would just be untrue. Both of us were really psyched about getting our drivers licenses. Both of us of course passed with flying colors. Sora suggested that we go for a drive in celebration. I won the coin flip, so I was the first one to drive. I wanted to drive by Namine's, the girl I was currently crushing on. I still sometimes wonder if that's what it was. Maybe if I had gone a different way…

_But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be_

I was just going through the intersection when I saw something to the right. A car was barreling down the road. I tried to accelerate, to get out of the way, but the other car was just moving too fast. It slammed right into the passenger side, pushing us into other cars and sending us careening out of control. For a moment, I saw blurred images passing by, then darkness.

_I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free_

I woke up a week later in the hospital. My arm was in a cast and I had nasty bruises all over my body. Otherwise, I felt fine. Unsurprisingly, the room was empty of anyone else. Doubtless, my parents were visiting Sora. I sat up straight, causing my head to ache badly. Sora! What had happened to him? I frantically pushed the button to call the nurse. A young woman rushed in. "Yes, is something wrong?" "Where's my brother?" I cried, tears beginning to well up in my eyes, "Where's Sora?" She looked away for a moment before answering, "I'm sorry. If you're talking about the boy who was in the car with you, he died on impact."

_No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do, and I blame you!_

At the funeral, which took place only a few days after I was released from the hospital, everyone was crying. Everyone was saying what a wonderful boy Sora had been, sharing fond memories and saying how it wasn't fair that he had been taken away. Like they really knew how unfair it was. Sora hadn't only been my best friend; he had been my only friend. Without him, I was all alone. And I couldn't help thinking, with a guilty twist in my gut, _Would they be this sad if it were my funeral? Would they cry for me?_ When it was my turn to speak, I found I could only say that I would miss him and that I wished it hadn't happened. I couldn't cry. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't. When I sat back down, I could have sworn I heard someone whisper, "That's him. He was driving when it happened. It was his fault."

_No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through_

**:One month later:**

My parents hadn't spoken to me since Sora's funeral. I tried to ask them questions, but usually only received a grunt or less in response. After a while, I just stopped trying.

_No one knows what its like  
To be mistreated, to be defeated  
Behind blue eyes_

Soon, guilt consumed my every thought. I became convinced that it had been my fault Sora had been killed. I didn't sleep, didn't eat, I got sick practically every other day. My parents either didn't notice or didn't care. Nobody at school missed me. One day, after getting sick again, my dad broke his vow of silence. He came into my room and started shaking me, screaming at me, saying it was my fault that Sora was gone, how he wished I had died instead of him, how he wished I had never been born. And through all that, I couldn't find it in me to cry. Finally, he threw me back down on the ground and stormed out. I stood up, shaking but feeling better than I had all day. I rushed out of the house, only stopping to grab a hoodie.

_No one knows how to say  
That they're sorry and don't worry  
I'm not telling lies_

I walked along through the town, rain coming down in sheets, avoiding the eyes of everyone crazy enough to be out. I imagined they were all whispering behind my back. "That's the boy who killed his brother," they would say. "He should have died instead." "It's all his fault." "He just doesn't care." I clapped my hands over my ears, trying to drown out the imaginary words. "Stop it," I sobbed, "Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!!" I rushed past the shops and houses, ignoring the stares everyone gave me. I ran and ran, not stopping until I reached the bridge. I stared down at the water, which was rushing because of the rain. _Right here and now,_ I decided. I would end this now. Carefully, I stepped onto the rail and to the other side, gripping the rail tightly. Fear washed over me as I thought about what I was going to do. But it was quickly gone when I thought about seeing Sora again. I smiled, closed my eyes, and let go of the railing.

_No one knows what its like  
To be the bad man, to be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes._

AN: It's the dreaded sad songfic! (Dun dun duuun!) The song is by Limp Bizkit, Behind Blue Eyes

Disclaimer: I own neither the song or Kingdom Hearts. And no amount of wishing will ever change that.


	2. Saved

Axel sighed, pulling his coat closer around himself. It was raining. Again. This was the third day in a row. He had actually thought it would be letting up today. "Just great," He mumbled to himself, burying his face in the front of his coat.

Axel hated the rain, and anything else to do with water. In fact, he very rarely even showered. Most people thought it was gross, but Axel didn't really care about what other people thought.

"Heya, Axel!" He heard, before feeling a body slam into his from behind. He managed to stay upright, twisting around to see the grinning face of Demyx. He groaned inwardly. Demyx was his best friend, and had been since preschool. But Axel never liked to deal with him when it was raining. Demyx actually LIKED the rain.

Axel promptly turned and began walking away. Demyx followed, looking like he was going to cry. Oh, that was another thing about Demyx: He cried. A lot. In fact, Axel would have thought he was Emo if he wasn't so goddamn happy all the time.

Axel tried to ignore it, but eventually Demyx's whimpers got to him. "I'm sorry, alright?" He said, trying not to scream at the blond in frustration. Just like that, the sad face melted away, replaced with the sunny smile he always wore.

"Okay," he said hugging him. Axel would have pushed him off, but was afraid Demyx would start crying again. So he just stood and took it.

After that, Demyx started going off about some random stuff. Axel just tuned him out. Demyx always forgot what he said later, anyway. That was because he had what most in the medical world would call ADHD. Sometimes, having Demyx as a best friend was really a pain.

"…Are you listening to me?" Axel pulled himself away from his thoughts to see an angry face staring at him. He grunted back in a non-committal way and stuck his hands in his jacket pockets.

"I said," Demyx repeated, "That my aunt gave me two tickets to the Yellow.Black(1) concert. And I was going to ask if you wanted to come, but maybe I'll just ask another, more attentive, friend to come with me."

Axel's eyes widened. Demyx knew that Yellow.Black was his favorite band. He mentally berated himself and made a note to pay a lot more attention in the future. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Axel said, folding his hands into a pleading gesture. "Please take me with you. Please, oh, please."

Demyx tapped his chin thoughtfully. A big grin broke out on his face. "Alright!" He held up a finger. "On one condition."

Axel paused for a moment, wary, before replying, "What?"

"You must…buy me an ice cream."

Axel could have laughed at the absurdity of it, but didn't want to risk not being able to go, so he just said, "Fine, let's go now."

Demyx's grin grew wider and, if possible, goofier. He raced towards the ice cream place, arms held out as if trying to fly. Axel followed, trying and failing to keep his excitement down. He let out an uncharacteristic whoop and ran after Demyx. He was going to go see Yellow.Black!

At the ice cream place, Axel bought Demyx and himself a sea-salt ice cream. Demyx dug into his with a vigor that could only be described as dog-like. Seriously, bits of the pale blue ice cream were flying everywhere as he ate it. His face was covered with the stuff, making him look like a little kid. It was hard for Axel to eat his own ice cream, as much as he was laughing.

After he finished with his ice cream, Demyx tilted his head back and let the rain wash the stickiness from his face. Axel shook his head. Asking Demyx to use a napkin was like asking a mountain to move so it would block the sun from your eyes. In other words: Not gonna happen.

Usually, Demyx found the strangest way to do anything, and then did it immediately. Axel had never, in all his years of knowing him, known him to be "normal." But it definitely made their friendship interesting.

When he had successfully washed all the blue from his face, Demyx waved cheerily and took off for home. Axel waved back, and headed in the direction of his own place, looking forward to a warm apartment and maybe some nice warm tea, if he had any left.

Axel glanced towards the river and something caught his eye. On the bridge, which wasn't that big but was a pretty good ways from the water, was a boy. Now, that in itself wasn't that weird. What was weird was that he was on the outside of the protective railing.

Next thing Axel knew, he saw the boy falling towards the water which, because of the rain, had began rushing. Without thinking, Axel ran as fast as he could to the water and dove in. He couldn't see the boy's head above the surface, which could only mean that he had sunk. Taking a deep breath and knowing he would just hate himself for this later, he dove down deep. The water was clear, so it only took him a few moments to spot the boy. The problem was getting to him. Because of the rushing water, he was getting farther and farther away and no matter how hard Axel tried, he couldn't seem to get any closer. His lungs were burning and Axel knew it wouldn't be long before he would have to give up or risk drowning himself.

Suddenly, miraculously, the boy's clothes snagged on a stray limb from a tree overhanging the bank. He didn't fight against it, which could only mean he had already passed out. Axel grabbed onto the branch as he swept past. He grabbed the boy around the waist and pulled himself, panting, up onto the bank. It wasn't until he was out of the water that he really realized how close he had been to blacking out. He had been so focused on the task ahead that he hadn't even noticed the lack of air in his lungs.

Axel laid the boy down on the bank and checked his breathing. There was none. He didn't technically have any CPR training, save the little bit he had done in Health class, but Axel knew he couldn't just do nothing. He formed one hand into a fist and laid the other hand over it. He pressed them to the boy's ribs and pushed. Nothing. Axel knew there was another part to CPR, but was slightly reluctant to do it.

However, after about a minute of pressing on his ribs and getting nowhere, Axel put his shyness aside for the boy's sake. He pinched the boy's nose and covered his lips with his own, breathing into him gently but firmly. Axel pushed on his ribs again. This time, it actually worked. He choked and a whole lot of water gushed out of his mouth. His eyes fluttered open, resting on Axel. The boy blinked blue eyes uncomprehendingly at him.

"Who…are you?" He croaked weakly.

"Axel. And you?"

"R-Roxas…" He mumbled, before his head lolled to the side and he blacked out.

Axel laid two fingers on his neck. His pulse was there, but it was weaker than it should have been. Of course. Hypothermia. It would set in quick if he didn't get him somewhere warm, and fast. Without thinking, Axel rushed him to his apartment, pressing him close to his body, trying to share what little body warmth he had at the moment.

Roxas' eyes flickered open. He felt warm. Was he dead yet? Instead of seeing…well, whatever it is you see when you're dead, he found himself looking at something black. There was yellow writing all over the thing, but it was wrinkled up and he couldn't read it. His eyes flicked upward to rest on Axel's sleeping face. He stared for a moment until the situation fully set in.

"Oh my god!!" He cried, kicking himself away from Axel, panic setting in. He could feel his heart beating in his throat.

Axel, surprisingly calm after being woken up in such a rude manner, rubbed his chest where Roxas had kicked him. "That hurt," he grumbled, "You could be a little more grateful to the guy who saved your life."

Roxas gripped his chest, which had begun to hurt slightly. "W-why was I sleeping in the same bed as you?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "I only did that so you wouldn't get Hypothermia. It was a close call, though. If I had had time, I would have taken you to a hospital. But if I had waited much longer, you would have almost certainly died."

The pain in his chest, and his panic, subsided. "I-I never asked you to save me," he mumbled, "Why can't you just mind your own damn business?"

Axel shrugged. "Who knows? I guess I'm just the kind of person who can't stand idly by while someone is dying. Don't blame me, blame my personality."

Axel stood up and stretched, yawning widely. "You can return those whenever, by the way," he said, gesturing towards Roxas.

Roxas looked down at himself and realized that his clothes were about 2 sizes too big and obviously not his. The shirt had a Yellow.Black emblem on it. "You like Yellow.Black?" Roxas said, looking back up at him.

"Yeah," Axel grinned, "They're my favorite band."

"Mine, too."

"Well, that's one thing we have in common."

Roxas nodded absent-mindedly.

Concerned, Axel snapped his fingers in front of Roxas' face. "Hello. Earth to Roxas."

Roxas stared at him, eyes wide. "How do you know my name?"

Axel laughed. "Apparently, you don't remember yesterday. When I pulled you out of the water, you told me your name was Roxas. And I told you my name was Axel."

"Axel," Roxas said slowly, testing it out, "It's a…" he broke off as his stomach growled loudly. He smiled sheepishly. "I guess I'm hungry."

Axel grinned. "Lucky for you, I can cook. Then, once you've got some food in your stomach, I can get you home."

Roxas tensed and gripped his knees. "You, uh…don't need to do that. You've already done enough."

"It's no trouble," said Axel, stepping into the next room. "What do you want? Eggs? Bacon? Steak?"

"Well, I don't think I really…steak?"

Axel laughed. "I get that reaction a lot. I like to eat cow in the morning. So sue me."

Roxas gave a small smile. "That's…interesting. But really, you don't need to feed me. I'm sure I'll manage." He stood up. "In fact, if you'll give me my clothes, I'll be off now."

Axel came back into the room, brandishing a spatula at him like a sword. "No, you're going to stay here and eat. And then you'll get your clothes back. Any arguing, and I will be forced to beat you with this spatula."(2)

Despite himself, Roxas sat back down on the mess of blankets on the floor that had served as a bed. The trouble was, he had no home to go back to. Somehow, he had to get Axel off his back.

"Now," said Axel, satisfied that Roxas was doing as he was told, "What do you want for breakfast?"

Roxas shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Whatever you're having."

(1) This is the name of a band one of my friends started. He said he would change it once they got better, but they haven't gotten better, so…

(2) This is from what I call "The Spatula phase." The same friend who started Yellow.Black went around telling people he would beat them with a spatula. It was pretty damn funny.

AN: Hehe, spatula. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own the spatula. Who does, I have no idea.


	3. Second attempt

Roxas stared at the plate in front of him, piled high with an assortment of food. "Do you really expect me to eat all of this?" He asked warily, poking at the pile with his fork. It had probably been his imagination, but he could have sworn he saw something more.

Axel didn't answer, as he was too busy shoveling nauseating amounts of food into his mouth. "Try it," he said, after swallowing the food painfully, "I may not look it, but I'm a brilliant cook."

"Oh, and humble, too," said Roxas, rolling his eyes, "That's not really the point, though, is it? The point IS that no normal human being could possibly eat this much food."

Axel pretended to look hurt. "I eat this much food every day."

Roxas gave him a look that said quite clearly what he thought of that. Axel grinned and went back to eating.

Roxas speared a sausage on his fork and stared at it intently.

"It's not poisoned," Axel laughed, "Will you just eat it already?"

Roxas shot him a defiant look and popped the sausage in his mouth, chewing with vehemence. Oh, it really was good. Roxas made a pleased, "Mm," and got another, grinning while chewing. "Wow," he said after swallowing, "It really is good."

"I told you. Now hurry up. I have to get to work soon and I need to escort you home still."

"You don't need to do that," Roxas said quietly, looking away, "I can get home myself."

"No way. I'm taking you home whether you like it or not."

Roxas set his fork down on his plate, his appetite gone. He didn't relish the idea of Axel walking him home at all. "I would really rather just walk myself back. It's no big deal."

Axel sighed, running his hand through his spiky red hair. "Look, I'm the type of person who can't let a kid…-"

"I'm not a kid!" Roxas interrupted indignantly.

Axel frowned and continued, "…I can't let a GUEST walk home alone. So, I always walk them home. It's the way I am, nothing you say can change that." _Besides_ he thought, _If I let you walk back alone, there's no doubt you're going to just throw yourself back over that bridge._ He hadn't asked Roxas about it, knowing it was probably a touchy subject, but Axel really did wonder why the blonde boy had tried to kill himself. As far as he could see, Roxas didn't seem suicidal. At least, until he had started talking about taking him home. Was that it? Did he have a bad home life? If that was the case, why didn't he just say something about it? Although, Axel knew that some people didn't like to talk about those kinds of things with anyone, let alone complete strangers. As much as he hated to admit it, he WAS a complete stranger to the boy, and the fact that he wasn't exactly pouring out his soul shouldn't have been all that surprising.

"I'll go get dressed," Roxas said quietly, standing up.

As much as he tried to hide it, Roxas did have a lot going on, a lot more than he ever let anyone else know. He wasn't going to say anything to Axel. He was going to just go home and maybe he would get another chance to kill himself later. Only this time he would do it more discreetly, so there would be no chance of another do-gooder like Axel screwing it up. He found his clothes hanging out on the balcony. He grabbed them off the line and went to change. He found himself slightly sad that he had to discard to clothes Axel had given him, but he decided that that was just because it was from his favorite band, nothing more. Besides, now wasn't the time to start getting emotionally attached to someone. He was going to die soon, and interference was not welcome.

Axel gathered up the plates and scraped Roxas' barely-touched food into the trash. It wasn't exactly that he was surprised that the blonde had barely eaten, only a little disappointed. It only proved the boy was suicidal. From now on, Axel would have to make sure to keep an eye on him. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if someone he had saved just went and killed themselves later.

Roxas came back out, fully dressed. "I'm ready to go," he said, his eyes dull and glazed. Axel stared for a moment with concern and steered the blonde out of the house.

They didn't talk much along the way, even though Axel tried his hardest to start many conversations. Roxas didn't seem to be paying him any attention, though, and eventually Axel just gave up.

"This is my place," he said, stopping at a small yellow house, "Thanks again for walking me." He looked like he was anything but thankful, but Axel accepted it anyway.

"No problem. Here." He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Roxas. "That's my cell number. Call me if there's ever anything you need to talk about. I'll always be there." Roxas stared at the paper, and Axel could have sworn he saw a smile begin to creep its way along his face. But Roxas turned away, heading into the house. Axel left quickly, knowing he was going to be in trouble for being late to work.

Roxas went inside and quietly shut the door. He didn't bother announcing himself. Even if anybody was in the house, they wouldn't care that he had been gone a whole day. Heck, they probably wouldn't care even if he told them why he had left in the first place. He stared at the slip of paper Axel had given him. His instinct told him to throw it away, that he was going to be dead soon and didn't need such trivial things. But he pulled out his wallet and stuck it in there. At least when he died, maybe then Axel could come to the funeral. That is, if his parents didn't just bury him in the ground, not wanting to waste money on a funeral for him.

Roxas clenched his hand tightly at the thought. It made him angry to feel so unloved, but it also made him feel…happy. He wouldn't be missed once he was gone. At least he didn't have to cause his parents any more pain than he had made them go through already. This would be the only useful thing he would ever do for his parents, and he only hoped they would appreciate it.

He went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Yeah, it was a little cliché, but so what? He wasn't trying to impress anyone. He climbed the stairs slowly, not bothering to hide the knife. He half-hoped that someone, anyone, would walk past him, see the knife, and talk him out of it. But nobody came, even though Roxas could hear voices in the upstairs den. Nobody would ever come. He just had to accept that fact. At least he wouldn't have to deal with it much longer, although that did little to make him feel any better.

He went into his room and gently closed the door, but left it open a little. His room was nothing special. He had shared a room with his brother before, but now it was his. The only difference was that it was empty of all of Sora's things, leaving it quite bare. Maybe it was depressing, but Roxas had never really thought much of it. Besides, like he had said before, it didn't really matter. Nothing would matter soon.

Sitting on his bed, Roxas held the knife over his wrist. Now was the moment. He had to get it done before he lost his nerve. He had to do it quickly because any hesitation would leave him bleeding for hours before he passed out, and, although he was sure he deserved it, he didn't want to be in pain. He screwed his eyes shut and pressed down, hard.

It hurt. It really hurt. It was probably the most painful physical thing he had ever felt. He gasped, bending over, while hot warmth dripped thickly from his wrist and fell onto the white carpet, leaving a blackish stain. He felt his vision swim and felt pleased that he had done it correctly. In a matter of minutes, he would pass out, and within the hour he would be dead. He lay down on his bed, watching as the blood gushed out from the slit in his wrist. It was quite fascinating, really. The red ran down his arms in rivulets that he arranged in his mind as people and things he knew. Before he passed out, he imagined he saw Sora's face, smiling back at him.

"Finally," Axel stretched, smiling, "My shift's over. What do you wanna do now, Demyx?"

Demyx shrugged. "Whatever. Although I'm leaning a little towards sleep if that's an option."

"It's not," Axel laughed. "Come on, what's a night on the town without my best friend?" He paused a moment, hearing his phone ring. "Hold on a sec. Yeah?"

"Hello, are you a family member or friend of a Roxas Hikari?"

Axel frowned. "Yeah, he a friend, why? Who is this?"

"We found your number in his wallet. We thought you might want to know that he's in the hospital."

Axel's breath caught in his throat. "In the hospital? Why?"

"He tried to slit his wrists. Luckily, his parents found him before he lost too much blood and brought him to the hospital. He'll probably be fine."

"Probably…?"

"At any rate, if you're going to visit him, I would do it soon. He's at the Saint Mary. The secretary will give you the room information."

"Thank you," Axel murmured, hanging up.

"Who was that?" Demyx asked.

"The hospital. Someone I know is there. We have to go, now."

AN: I wanted Axel to be a cook. So sue me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, sadly. I don't know of a hospital called Saint Mary, but I'm sure there is one so I guess I don't own that either.


	4. Disowned

Axel rushed into the hospital, Demyx trailing in his wake. "Where is Roxas Hikari?" He said to the secretary, panting a little from running.

"On the third floor, room 813," she said, a little startled. Axle mumbled out a quick thank you before rushing to the elevator, waiting impatiently for Demyx.

"Why are we here, again?" Demyx asked, looking slightly wary. Demyx hated hospitals.

Axel didn't answer him, but stared off into space. He had only known Roxas a day, and yet he felt such a connection to him. He felt genuinely worried that the blonde had tried to kill himself again. He shouldn't have left him alone after saving him; he should have kept a close watch on him. Why was he so stupid?

"Axel?" Demyx was staring at him, concerned. "Who exactly is Roxas?"

Axel started. He had forgotten for a moment that Demyx was there. "Uh…after we separated yesterday, I was on my way home and I saw a boy throw himself into the river. Without thinking, I dove in and saved him, then took him back to my place. Then I took him home, again without thinking, and apparently he made another suicide attempt."

Demyx frowned. "You seem awfully worried about someone you've only known a day."

Axel shook his head slowly. "The boy is suicidal, Demyx, of course I'm worried. I can't help it." The elevator opened and they both stepped out. Demyx decided to go to the waiting lounge since he didn't know Roxas. Axel would have protested, but he just wanted to make sure Roxas was okay, so he just let him go.

"…I can't believe you would pull this crap!"

Axel stopped. That voice was coming from 813…Roxas' room? He peeked in and saw Roxas lying in a hospital bed, pale but very much alive. There was a man in the room and he seemed to be yelling at him.

"I can't believe you would even consider something like that!" The man continued, "And in our house, too! Do you know how long it's going to take to get the stains out of your brother's room?!"

Axel's eyes widened. What? Surely he had heard wrong…?

"Do you know how much it's going to cost for this damn hospital bill?! The ambulance and the cost of the room, you're lucky we even decided to do that!"

Roxas' face was hard and emotionless, but Axel could see the sparkle of tears just under the surface, even from the doorway. "You've been nothing but a bother ever since you were born! It should have been you who died!"

Roxas gulped. "Dad…"

"Don't you dare call me that! You are not my son! My son is dead, because of you!! Don't ever bother coming back to that house again, or I swear I will be the one who kills you!" With that, the man turned on his heel and strode out of the room, walking right past Axel as if he wasn't there. Axel just stood there for a moment until he heard the sound of sobbing. He looked into Roxas' room and saw the blonde lying in a fetal position, his head buried in the pillow, his body shaking almost violently.

Without thinking, Axel strode into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He gathered Roxas up and pulled him into a tight embrace, not even allowing the blonde to see who it was holding him.

Roxas, it seemed, didn't care, only buried his face in Axel's chest and sobbed loudly. Axel could feel his shirt become very wet but he didn't care. He began to stroke Roxas' hair soothingly, even though he knew nothing he did would ever help.

It wasn't long before Roxas had cried himself to sleep in Axel's arms. Axel didn't want him to catch a cold from the wet shirt, so he laid Roxas back on the pillows, switching the top and bottom ones so that the dry one was on top. He pulled the blankets up to the blonde's chin and left the room to find Demyx.

"Finally," said Demyx, leaping up, "Can we go now? This place gives me the shivers."

Axel rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "You can leave if you want, Dem. I'm going to stay here. I think that, right now, I'm all he has."

Demyx frowned at him. "Why? What happened?"

Axel shook his head. "I don't think it would be right for me to tell you. Suffice it to say that it was really bad."

Demyx sighed. "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Hopefully. Although, I might have made things much more complicated by saving his life."

Demyx gave him a quick hug. "See ya, man." He flicked his wrist and left the waiting room, only too glad to be getting out of there.

Axel left and went back to room 813 again. Roxas was still sleeping, but a look of pain crossed his features. He was probably having a nightmare. Axel brushed some hair from his face, wishing he could do something, anything, to help the small boy. But there was nothing he could do. Well, actually, maybe there was something, small as it may be.

When Roxas woke up the next morning, his first thought was i Where am I/i When he realized he was in the hospital, the memories of what his father had said to him came flooding back. He had told him not to come back home…but where else was he supposed to go? He felt tears well up in his eyes and cause him to choke. He was forced to sit up in bed to avoid suffocating. i Not that it matters/i Roxas thought bitterly. He was so absorbed in his own thoughts that when he saw movement off to his left, it caused him to jump. He looked over and saw Axel slumped in the chair by the bed, obviously asleep.

Roxas was confused. Why was he here? He had only met the redhead a few days ago, why did he even care about him? Vaguely, he remembered sobbing and a warm person pulling him into an embrace. Had that been Axel?

Slowly, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and padded over to the chair. He stared at the redhead for a moment before shaking his shoulder, rousing him.

"Huh?" Axel mumbled, his eyes heavy with sleep. "Wuzgoinon?" He saw Roxas standing in front of him and he smiled sleepily. "Morning."

Roxas crossed his arms and stared at him. "Why are you here, Axel?"

"The hospital called me," said Axel, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I, uh…kinda walked in on your conversation with your father."

Roxas' breath caught in his throat. "Y-you did?" He had seen that? Why? Why did anyone have to see something like that? Why did anyone have to know?

Axel stared at him, concerned. "I'm…I'm really sorry, I just-"

"No you're not."

"Huh?" Axel was startled by the emptiness in Roxas' voice. "What do you mean?"

"You're not sorry. Not at all." He laughed bitterly, a horrible sound. "There's nobody who's sorry for me. I'm nobody. I'm a worthless…nothing…" He sat on the ground, starting to laugh hysterically. Axel could do nothing but watch in horror as the blonde had his mental breakdown.

He tried to lay an arm on his shoulder comfortingly, but Roxas only batted it away. He tried to get up and give him some privacy, but Roxas had somehow latched onto his leg and he couldn't move. At least, not until the blonde had sobbed himself to sleep. It took some time, but eventually he slumped, still holding onto Axel's leg like it was the only thing in the world. Gently, Axel picked him up and carried him back to his hospital bed. He brushed the hair from the blonde's sweat and tear streaked face. It looked kind of dirty like that, but it was…cute, in a way. On impulse, he kissed Roxas' cheek and went back to his seat next to the bed.

AN: Room 813, anyone notice that? Just wondering.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters except for the secretary and Roxas' father. Unfortunately, I do not want to own them but I have to take what I can get. Heck, I don't even really own the room 813 thing, I borrowed it from deviantart. Hope nobody minds...


	5. A New Life

AN: Well, here it is finally. In all it's crappy glory. I've had major writer's block lately so it took a while. Anyway, to my reviewers, (Are you well in the head? Liking my work, seriously.)

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

Thank you, all 4 of you. I know it's not that good a story and it means a lot that you would take the time to review. Anyway, on with chapter 4!

Disclaimer: I sent the Orange Leprechauns to get Kingdom Hearts for me, but they were attacked by flying monkeys. Luckily, they're making a full recovery. Sadly, I still don't own KH. I also don't own Reign Over ME

* * *

Roxas stared out across the town, thinking. It was strange, being here. Wearing clothes that Axel had bought him, sleeping on Axel's spare futon. Axel had told him to think of this as his house too, but he couldn't. Why did he even care?

When Roxas had been released from the hospital, Axel had been right there with him. Actually, he hadn't left his side the whole time, which was about 3 days. The blonde had been afraid because he had nowhere to go when, right out of the blue, Axel told him he was going to live with him. It had been a shock, to say the least.

Anyway, that had been a week ago. Every time Axel was forced to go to work, he would lock Roxas up in his room. It was a smart move. The redhead had nothing in his room that might be used to kill himself, and the window was really thick so he couldn't jump through it. There was a bathroom, but Axel shut off the water before he left so Roxas couldn't drown himself. It was embarrassing when he took a shower, because Axel always got in with him to make sure he didn't try anything. What the blonde really didn't understand was why the stupid redhead was trying so hard. Really, all the idiot knew about him was his name. He had tried to goad him into several conversations, but Roxas had taken to grunting instead of responding. That didn't mean Axel had given up, not at all. In fact, he had doubled his efforts. And it was annoying.

"Oh, Roxy!!"

Roxas groaned. He was home. Great. Couldn't he just let him brood? Apparently not, because he immediately came into the room and wrapped him arms around Roxas' waist. That was another thing; he had no respect for personal space.

"Get off me," Roxas said, pushing the arms away.

"Did you have a good day?" Axel said, unfazed.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Being a prisoner just makes for a great time. Why do I have to stay in here when you leave?"

"Because," Axel said, ruffling his hair, "If I didn't, you would try to kill yourself again."

"So?" Roxas muttered.

"What do you mean, so?" Axel huffed at him. "You should value your life. I do. I don't want you to die, Roxy."

"Will you stop calling me that?!" Roxas screamed, annoyed. "Why the hell can't you ever just leave me alone?!"

Axel blinked at him. "Because," he said, "You're my responsibility now. I can't just save someone and then leave them to die."

Roxas wanted to say something to that, but couldn't think of anything. So, he just turned back to the window and stared out, trying to ignore Axel. It didn't exactly work.

"Ya hungry?" Axel said, "You should be, you haven't eaten all day, right? Don't worry, I'll take you to work with me soon."

Roxas ate the food in front of him without even looking at it, a glower set firmly on his face. If Axel weren't there, he wouldn't touch a bite of this. But Axel was there, and Roxas knew from personal experience that he wasn't above force-feeding.

"Aw, cheer up," said Axel, noticing the look on his face, "It's not that bad is it?" Roxas could tell if he meant the food or just life, so he stayed silent, causing Axel to sigh. "Look," he said, "I know it can't be easy to live like a prisoner, but if I didn't do this you would try to kill yourself again."

"And why do you even care?" Roxas growled at him.

"Um…because I care about you?" When that received no response, Axel sighed and dropped it. He understood that the blonde hated him, hell he would have to be stupid NOT to see it, but what he didn't understand really was why. Usually, when someone saves your life, you're supposed to be grateful, not hateful. (AN: Gag at the rhyme.) It was probably because Axel was keeping him locked up like this. _Well, _he thought, _I'll just have to get him to like me again._

"Wanna go see a movie?" Axel said brightly. Roxas only grunted at him. Axel, being Axel, took this as a yes. "Great! I'll go see what's good. You stay here and eat. And seriously, eat, you look like skin and bones."

Axel went quickly to his computer and looked up movie times. He saw one, Reign Over Me, that looked pretty good. The next viewing started at 6:05, which was in-Axel glanced at the clock-about an hour. "Perfect," he said, signing off. He was just about to go sit back down at the table when he heard a knock at the door. Sighing, he went to answer it and was greeted by the grinning Demyx.

"Hey, man!" He said, "You ready to go?"

"Go?" Axel said confusedly, "Go where?"

Demyx's smile froze. "That's…that's not funny, Axel. Come on, we talked about this just 2 weeks ago."

"Talked about what?"

This time, Demyx's smile actually fell. "The…the Yellow.Black concert. It's tonight. You begged me to let you go, remember?"

Axel's eyes widened. "That was tonight?! Shit. Demyx, I can't go."

"What do you mean you can't go?!"

"I…" Axel gave a guilty glance over his shoulder, "I promised Roxas we would go to a movie tonight. And anyway I can't just leave him here. Unless you have another ticket?"

"No," Demyx said quietly, "There were only 2."

"Then I'm really sorry Dem, but I can't go."

Demyx looked on the verge of tears. "Why do you gotta cater to him like that? He's 16, he should be able to take care of himself."

"Demyx, he's suicidal. If I leave him alone all the time, he's not gonna get any better. Please don't cry. I wouldn't cancel on you if it wasn't important."

Demyx wiped at his eyes and fixed Axel wit ha glare. "Why is he the only important thing in your life lately?"

"What?"

"Face it, Axel. Every day you rush home from work or school to take care of him, like nothing else matters. Well, guess what? The rest of us aren't going to wait around forever while you're wrapped around the little finger of some spoiled little blonde." He shot a dirty look at Roxas over Axel's shoulder, who looked back, perplexed. "Ya know what, Axel? I'm going to go to the concert, and I'm going to have a lot of fun. You have a good time being a toy."

He turned on his heel and stalked out, no longer on the verge of tears but seething mad. Axel stared guiltily at his back until he turned a corner, then shut the door. He leaned against the wood and slid down it miserably. He had been in such a good mood, and Demyx just had to ruin it. But he didn't understand. He didn't understand anything about Roxas. Not like he did.


	6. The Wet Dream

AN: Hello, wonderful fans! I have been feeling very inspired today, so I sat down and wrote the next chapter! It would have been done sooner, but I got off to watch Kyle XY and then my dad got on and I had to wait to write the ending. Anwho, don't expect this all the time, I barely know what I'm gonna do for the next chapter. To my reviewers:

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader-Axel is 19, sorry I never clarified that. And yes, Yellow.Black is real. My friend Leo gave me permission to use it. They are not a famous band, though, so barely anyone knows about them.

Tsuzuki Misaki-I don't get any emails sent because for some reason I don't recieve emails from here so I had to use a friend's screenname as my email address. I'll ask him to forward it to me. I have no idea what a Beta is, though.

Thank you all! You rock! It's because of your wonderful reviews that I updated to quickly! I'm excited! Can't you tell from my many !!!!!!!!'s? Anyways, this one has yaoi in it. Although, I don't write that kind of stuff often so if there is anything I need to improve on, tell me. It is not possible to offend me in any way. However, if anyone flames, I'll send the Orange Leprechauns to kill you in your sleep. :p

Disclaimer: I don't own it, and I can't think of anything witty to say right now...

* * *

Roxas ate his food guiltily. Axel wasn't going to see Yellow.Black? But the redhead loved the band. _It's because of me, _He thought, _I'm the reason he's not going. And I'm the reason he had a fight with his friend just now._ He felt a wave of guilt wash over him as Axel sat down, once again smiling. 

"We'll go once you've finished eating," he said.

"Thanks," Roxas mumbled.

The redhead blinked. "What was that? Was that you THANKING me?"

The blonde clenched his chopsticks tightly. He was going to be annoying again.

"It was!" Axel laughed. "Never thought I would hear that from your mouth. What's the occasion?"

Roxas fixed him with a glare, causing him to back down. However, he did have a point. Roxas hadn't said anything nice to him since he had walked him home that time after he saved him. And even then, he hadn't meant it. Hell, now that he thought about it, he had never thanked Axel for saving him, had he? Not that he was thankful the redhead had done it. Right? In fact, wouldn't it have been better if he had just died?

"Hey, are you alright?"

Roxas snapped back to reality. "Huh?"

"You looked like you were gonna pass out or something. Are you getting sick?" Axel placed a hand on his forehead concernedly, but Roxas swatted it away.

"I'm fine," he said indignantly, "I was just…thinking."

"About what?"

"None of your business."

Axel looked a little hurt, but didn't say anything else about it.

Roxas was silent for another moment before saying. "Hey…Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh…I just…uh, never mind."

The redhead frowned. "You sure are weird, you know that?" He stood up from the table, ruffling the blonde's spiky locks as he passed him, "But I still love ya, kid."

Roxas blinked. He loved him? The only person who had ever told him that was Sora. Even his parents had never said it to him, that he could recall. So how could Axel be saying it so lightly, like it was something easy? Almost like he meant it.

At the movie theater, they got seats in the second to last row. Roxas wanted to go to the front, but Axel said that only hurt your neck and gave you a worse view of the screen. The blonde didn't want to sit alone, so he was forced to sit in the back. He found out that Axel was right, anyway, even though he would never admit it.

When the movie started, Roxas actually found it very boring. It was about some friends who hadn't seen each other for years and some guy with problems. Or something. He wasn't paying attention. Somewhere along the line, he had actually fallen asleep.

Next thing he knew, he was being woken up by Axel. "The movie's over," the redhead explained, "You slept through pretty much the whole thing."

"Oh…" Roxas rubbed his eyes groggily and stretched. "Sorry. It wasn't exactly the most exciting thing I've ever seen."

"You should have at least tried. It got pretty good."

The blonde shrugged. "I'm not one for feel-good films or anything. Gimme a good action or horror movie any day." He stood up and started walking towards the exit, Axel right beside him. "I…am sorry that you had to waste money like that, getting me a ticket and such."

"Ah, don't worry about it. It's just money, I can always get more."

That made the blonde smile. Never had he heard anyone talk about money so casually like Axel did. And it wasn't just that Axel had a lot of it, he just didn't think that life should revolve around it.

"So," the grinning redhead said, "Where to next?"

Roxas shrugged. "I dunno, I'm a little tired…"

"Home it is then."

The blonde frowned. Home? He had never thought of Axel's apartment as home. In his mind, he had no home. Why was the redhead trying so hard to make him think of it as his home anyway?

"You've been spacing out a lot today. You alright?"

Roxas started, realizing that Axel was talking to him. "I-I'm fine. Can't I think for 2 seconds without you getting on my case?"

"Alright, no need to snap."

The blonde sighed. "I'm sorry. And…thanks for the movie."

"You're being unusually nice today. I'm actually getting politeness from you, and even full sentences."

"Don't push it."

They arrived back at home-at Axel's apartment-and Roxas went straight to bed. He was tired for one and besides he just didn't want to be around Axel more than he had to be.

Luckily, although the blonde was locked into his room, he did have a bathroom. And Axel hadn't done anything extreme like tied him to the futon or anything like that. At night, everything seemed normal.

Roxas hugged his pillow, feeling himself drift off. Normally, he tried to find a way to kill himself at night, while Axel was asleep and unawares, but tonight it didn't even cross his mind. He was just too tired.

Since Roxas didn't have a clock in his room, he had no way of telling what time it was when he woke up to go to the restroom. When he got back to bed, he didn't feel tired anymore. Since it was still dark outside, the blonde knew it would be at least a few more hours until Axel got up and let him out. _Great, _he thought, _I guess I'll just have to lay here._

He was in the middle of staring at the ceiling when he heard the lock on his door click and heard it creak open. Surprised, he looked towards it and saw the redhead standing in the doorway. He sat up. "Axel? What is it?"

Axel didn't say anything, just slipped into the room and shut the door quietly, staring at him with a green intensity. Roxas tried to stare back, but found his gaze falter and looked away.

The redhead moved fluidly across the room and to his bed. He laid a knee on the edge, still staring at the blonde.

Roxas messed with his sheets uncomfortably, feeling the green eyes watching him. "W-what do you want, Axel?"

The blonde started when he felt hot air on his ear, but didn't move away. "I think you know what I want, Roxas," came the husky reply. Roxas shuddered, but whether it was from disgust or pleasure even he didn't know.

Suddenly, soft lips and teeth were playing with his earlobe. Roxas shuddered again and tried to make his arms move to push Axel away. But they hung like lead by his sides. And anyway, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying it.

Axel moved down his jaw to the blonde's neck, biting it sharply and leaving a small mark. Roxas cried out in pain and vaguely wondered if Axel had drawn blood. However, that thought was pushed to the back of his mind as the redhead pushed him back on the bed and started to nip and suck on his collarbone.

"Axel…" he moaned. _That's weird. I was trying to tell him to stop._

The redhead had apparently grown bored because he was moving lower and lower until he reached the shirt Roxas was wearing. With a smirk the blonde didn't fail to see, he lifted the hem of it and pulled it over Roxas' head.

_Why am I not stopping him?_ Roxas wondered vaguely, _Why am I letting this continue?_ But, no matter what he thought, he just couldn't make himself tell Axel to stop.

Without a shirt on, there was nothing to stop Axel from licking and sucking on one of Roxas' nipples, making it taut and eliciting deep moans from the younger teen.

The redhead climbed up Roxas' body, staring straight into his deep blue eyes. This time, the blonde couldn't look away, no matter how hard he tried. His emerald eyes were enticing. He felt almost like he would drown in them.

Then, suddenly, they were getting closer. Roxas' own eyes slid shut and he felt a pair of soft lips press against his own. Again, Roxas thought that maybe he should stop this. In fact, he even raised a hand to push him away. But instead, it ended up tangling in the scarlet locks, deepening the kiss.

Roxas felt a velvety tongue running along his bottom lip, asking for entrance. The blonde opened his mouth and let the redhead explore the inside, even snaking his own out tentatively to meet his.

In the midst of this, Roxas didn't feel Axel hand ghost down his stomach. But he did feel it when the hand went down his pants, fondling his member. He gasped and arched up…

The resulting shock caused Roxas to sit up straight in bed, heart pounding and breath coming in short pants. "Holy…shit…"

* * *

AN: Who thought that was really happening? Seriously, I really wanna know:D 


	7. Brother

AN: Whoo!!!! It's after midnight, so happy birthday to me! XD I've turned 16 and this chapter is my birthday present to myself!! Yay! Sorry, I'm hyped up on sugar cookies. Anywho, in this chapter Larxene, Marluxia, and kind of Luxord are introduced. I really like those three, so I put them in. Oh, also there is a brief mention of Xemnas. And I know Roxas should act all awkward around Axel now but really the dream is kinda pushed to the back of his mind during the day. That's happened to a lot of people, why shouldn't it happen with him? Although he is kinda in denial. Don't worry, this will pop up again later. The yaoi is not ovah! Moving on, to my reviewers:

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki-Thanks for the critique. Although, I don't think you quite understood what I was trying to do. Sometimes in dreams, we can't really control our actions. See, his conscious mind was trying to make him push Axel away, but his subconscious mind, which is stronger during the night, wouldn't let him. Mostly, this was triggered by Axel telling him he loved him. Also, I don't think I really need a beta. I think I do okay on my own, and other than the occasional typo I don't think you would be doing much. Thanks for the offer anyway.

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Thank you all, ya know I love you! -Glomps you all before you can escape- >:D So, without further ado other than the disclaimer, let's get this chapter started!

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is not mine. However, Hartsol restaurants is! If only I could make it into a real restaurant chain...

* * *

Roxas buried his head in his knees, trying to even out his breathing. The term 'freaking out' didn't even begin to describe what he was feeling right now. For god's sake, he just had a wet dream about someone he was supposed to hate! _What does this mean?_ He wondered. _I _know _I'm not attracted to him. He's an idiot. I don't like him._ The blonde found his mind wandering back to the dream, the part where Axel had kissed him. It had felt so real. And so…_No! Don't think it! You don't like him!_

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" He groaned, throwing himself backward on the bed.

Almost as if on cue, the lock snicked and Axel opened the door, poking his head in. "Hey, you okay Roxy?"

"I'm fine!" Roxas threw a pillow at the door. "Get out!"

Axel quickly ducked behind to door, using it as a shield, but his head reappeared again just as quickly. "Damn and I hoped that whole 'being nice' thing was gonna last."

"Just go away."

"No can do." Axel grinned, coming into the room. Roxas pulled his sheets up over himself, as if the thin membrane of cotton could protect him. Flashes of the dream kept coming back to him, seeming awfully similar to this situation, making him feel extremely uncomfortable.

He felt the sheet being peeled back from his head and Axel's grinning face was clearly shown. "Peek-a-boo," he said teasingly, earning a scowl from the blonde. "Alright," he laughed, "Serious time. I know it must be hard for you to stay here all alone, so I've decided that you're coming with me to work today. What do you think?"

"I think that's a horrible idea," he spat venomously; "I don't want to have to spend more time with you than I have to."

Axel looked hurt. "Well, I guess you don't have to go. I just thought...you might appreciate getting out of here every once in a while, ya know?" He released the sheet, sending it to fall softly back onto Roxas' head. The blonde, feeling a wave of guilt wash through him said, "Alright, fine…I'll go."

"Really?!" Roxas moved the sheet and saw Axel, positively beaming, right in his face. Again he was reminded of the dream and he felt his face heat up. "Y-yeah," he mumbled, "Just…don't get all upset, alright?"

Axel ruffled his hair infuriatingly. "Aw, I knew you cared. Well, get dressed. We gotta leave in an hour."

Roxas smoothed out his hair and went into the bathroom, intending to take a shower. God knows he needed one. However, he decided against it when he realized the redhead would be there to supervise if he did. Right now, he didn't think he would be able to take it. _Sponge bath, _he decided. After all, he desperately needed to wash up.

After he had cleaned up and gotten dressed, he left his room and went to the kitchen, where he found Axel with some cereal. "I can't cook every day," he explained, "Sometimes I just like to have something simple." Shaking his head, Roxas grabbed the cardboard box and poured himself a bowl.

"Hey," Axel said, his voice muffled by the mouthful of cereal, "Just so you know, I have a weirdo co-worker named Luxord. I would suggest staying away from him unless I'm around, okay? He's…kind of a pervert."

"A pervert? You don't mean that he would…?"

"No, he wouldn't go THAT far…I don't think…but I've seen from experience that he'll flirt profusely with anyone, regardless of sex; Especially cute people. So just watch your back."

Roxas flushed indignantly. "Hey, I'm a guy. Guys aren't 'cute.'"

"Uh-huh…" Axel took a bite of his cereal, "You just keep telling yourself that."

Roxas glowered at his bowl, taking a few bites before deciding he was done. "So, where exactly do you work?"

"I work at one of the famous Hartsol restaurants. You know, owned by that big-shot businessman Xemnas Hartsol." He winked. "I'm the head chef. Best of the best."

"Somebody's humble."

"Hey, when you're this good, you don't have to be humble. Other people can be humble for you." He chuckled, sticking his bowl in the sink and steering Roxas out the door.

Roxas sat back in a booth by the window, bored out of his mind. He hadn't thought spending the day in a restaurant would be exciting but god he hadn't expected it to be this BORING. Damn Axel for sticking him here while he got to go off and work.

A few people had come to talk to him while he had been sitting there, including a girl with a sort of antenna-do in her blonde hair. She said that her name was Larxene and, apparently, she was one of Axel's co-workers. Although, unlike Axel, she busted tables and cleaned the floors and such. "I can't even boil water," she said, chuckling, "But everyone needs money, right?" Roxas, despite himself, immediately liked her. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to talk to him for very long since she had to work. But at least she broke up the monotony a bit.

Another person that he saw was a young boy with pink-yes, pink-hair. He didn't get a chance to talk to him, since he was a waiter and always busy, but he found himself staring at his hair whenever he passed. Seriously, what self-respecting man dyes their hair pink? Honestly.

Glancing at his watch, Roxas groaned when he saw that only two hours had gone by. Axel's shift lasted 9 hours. _Only seven to go,_ he thought bitterly, settling back into the booth. Suddenly he felt tired. The boredom might have had something to do with it. _A little nap won't hurt,_ he thought, letting himself drift off in the uncomfortable booth.

About an hour and a half later, Axel went on break. He grabbed a few dishes he had had some of the others cook up and went to meet Roxas. When he got there, he found him asleep. He set the plates down and reached out to gently shake his shoulder when a sob suddenly wracked the small blonde's body. Startled, Axel pulled his hand back. He watched in amazement as tears started flowing down Roxas' cheeks.

"Sora…" he sobbed, "No…please…" The redhead stared as if in a trance. Sora? Who was that? "It's not my fault…" The blonde continued in his sleep. That seemed to break Axel from the spell. He quickly leaned forward and shook Roxas' shoulder roughly.

The blonde's eyes opened, wide and shining with tears. He stared at Axel for a moment, a look of shock set firmly on his face, before letting out a loud sob and leaning forward onto the redhead's chest. Axel quickly wrapped his arms around him and stroked his hair soothingly. He didn't know what he had been dreaming about, but right now it didn't matter.

"Shhh, it's alright," Axel whispered, "I'm here, I'm here." Despite his soothing, the blonde didn't stop crying for quite a while.

When he had, their lunches had gotten cold and Axel's shirt had become very wet. "I'm sorry…" Roxas mumbled, clutching his shirt with numbed fingers.

"Hey, there's nothing to be sorry about," Axel said, still running his fingers through the blonde locks, "What were you dreaming about anyway?"

That seemed to have triggered something in the young teen, because he suddenly stiffened and pushed Axel away. "Nothing."

The redhead frowned. "What do you mean, 'nothing'? Roxas, you were crying. AND you were confiding in me. It must have been pretty bad."

"It's none of your business," the blonde growled, his eyes clearly saying to drop the subject.

However, as many know, Axel isn't one for taking hints. "Come on, you can tell me. Maybe I can help…"

"Well, you can't!" Roxas snapped. "Damnit, when someone says it's none of your business, that doesn't mean to press the issue! That means drop it!"

The redhead blinked in surprised. "I was only trying to help…"

"Well, I don't need your help!"

"Don't lie," Axel said, smiling slightly, "Everyone needs help sometimes, Roxas."

"That may be true," Roxas said, his eyes blue slits on his face, "But that doesn't mean I need YOUR help. I never asked for it in the first place, why don't you just…just disappear."

The redhead's smile became sad. "I'll always be here, Roxy. Whether you like it or not." With that, he stood up and went back to his shift, leaving Roxas to fume.

* * *

AN: Don't be mad at Roxy for being mean to Axel. He's gone through a lot. -Glomps Roxy- 


	8. Best Friend

AN: Whahahaaaa!!! Sorry, I'm a little psyched out! In my personal author's opinion, this is a REALLY GOOD CHAPTER!!! We learn about Axel's past in this one!! And, there's gonna be some Akudemy in the next chapter! XD Although, I will admit, the beginning kinda sucks a bit. I didn't want to make this chapter about Roxas, but I wanted to start out with him waking from a dream. I needed a reason for Axel to talk about his past. Anywhosits, on to my reviewers:

Riku-Stalker-What do you mean you envy my writing skills? Your writing is so much better than mine! Look at how many more reviews you have on The Icecream Man! Now that story is pure gold.

WishingYouWereHere-He's not exactly bi-polar, but he is a bit...mentally unstable. That was proven by that breakdown back in chapter 3

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki-XD

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U-He won't always be. After the next chapter, Roxas is gonna realize his feelings. Won't be long now. :3

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster-Aw, be nice. He's going through a lot of crap. But he gets better from here on in.

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark-I don't think I mentioned you in the last chapter, I'm sorry! -Glomp!- It's hard to keep track of everyone, so sometimes I get a little mixed up. In fact, I can't remember if you reviewed on this chapter or last chapter. -Clueless-

I love you all! I give everyone on this list free rights to use the Orange Leprechauns to seek revenge on anyone they choose! XD And thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Don't stop reviewing on my story, or I'll stop writing it because I'll have dropped dead. Seriously, the only reason I breathe anymore is because of the wonderful reviews so please for my sake don't abandon me! Also, if anyone is wondering, the tea they're drinking is Ginkosharp. Why, you may ask? Because Ginkosharp is my fave! Alright, on with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I also don't own McDonalds, Starbucks, Wal-Mart, or any of the business companies taking over the world. It's not that they're in this story, I just don't own them. .o

* * *

_Sora's face, eyes full of sadness, bore down on him. Roxas couldn't look away, no matter how hard he tried. "Roxas," came the sad voice, "Why did you kill me? I thought you loved me?"_

Roxas bolted up in bed, heart pounding. He had been starting to have recurring dreams about his brother. Every time he closed his eyes, there he was. It was odd, because there had been a whole long period between Sora's death and these nightmares. What had caused them?

The blonde jumped as the door to his room opened. Axel stood in the doorway. "I…heard you crying. Are you alright?"

Roxas lay down with his back to the redhead, pointedly ignoring him. Axel sighed. "Look, I know you don't want my help, but…"

"But what?" Roxas growled, "It's as simple as that. I don't want your help, so stop trying already."

He heard footsteps cross the room and the bedsprings squeak as the redhead sat down.

"Go away," he mumbled.

"No," came the usual response, "I won't go away. Roxas, what is it that makes you so afraid to trust me?"

Uh-oh. Now here was the question the blonde teen wanted most to avoid. In truth, there wasn't any reason for not trusting Axel. He was a nice person and put up with him even when he was being difficult. _I guess,_ he thought to himself, _It's because I know I don't deserve his kindness. I know I'm not worth it. So I push him away. Nothing I do can ever repay him. And maybe if he hates me instead…_

"Roxas?" The teen was pulled from his thoughts by Axel's inquiring tone. What to say, what to say…?

"Well," he said indignantly, "It's not like I really know anything about you, is it? I mean, why would you expect me to open up to you if you're practically a stranger to me?" Score. Maybe that would shut him up for a while.

There was a long silence, then, "You want to know more about me? Fine." The springs squeaked again as the redhead stood up. "Come on, I'm not talking in here."

Roxas rolled over, incredulous. He was just trying to get him to back off, but Axel seemed more than willing to talk about himself if it would help. Was he being serious? One glance at the redhead's face revealed that he was, indeed, serious. His hand was outstretched towards the young teen and Roxas took it without thinking, allowing Axel to haul him to his feet.

The redhead set a cup of tea in front of the blonde as he sat down across from him with his own cup. They had gone into the kitchen and were currently sitting at the table. For the moment, it was silent, each of them sipping their tea quietly. Finally, Axel said, "I don't really know where to start. It's…a little complicated."

"What about at the beginning?" Roxas suggested quietly, "Most people find that the best place to start."

"Right…" Was Axel nervous? It was a strange thing for him, since usually he was so cheerful and upbeat. Roxas took another sip of his tea and waited patiently for him to begin.

"Um…just…don't interrupt me, alright? I just wanna get through this as quickly as I can."

Roxas frowned, confused, but nodded in agreement. Axel took a deep breath and finally began.

"I suppose…I should start where I can remember. I grew up in foster care. They told me my parents had abandoned me at some church when I was only a few days old." He took a deep breath. "I always used to hate my foster parents, no matter how nice they were to me. Why?" He chuckled grimly. "Well, now it seems kind of stupid. But I guess to a kid it made sense. Maybe I took out my feelings towards my parents on them. I can't really say…

"Anyway, I remember I was bounced around from house to house. I changed from one sibling to being an only child to having dozens of siblings constantly. School was no better. All the kids used to ask me why my parents didn't love me, and where were they now. I guess they didn't really understand, as most kids don't. Because of that, it was hard to make friends. Except…Demyx." He laughed a little at a memory. "We used to get into all sorts of trouble. But, no matter how bad it got for Demyx, he always used to say it was okay because I was there." He took a sip of his tea.

"I remember this one time in middle school; a bully was constantly picking on Demyx. Well, Dem isn't much of a fighter at all. So, when the bully punched him and gave him a bloody nose, all he could do was sit and cry. Naturally, I hated seeing my best friend hurt, so I beat him up." He smiled sadly. "Although…I suppose I just made things worse for Demyx. Nobody wanted to be near him anymore because they were afraid I would hurt them. But he never complained, not once."

Axel paused and for a minute Roxas thought he was finished. But he took another deep breath and continued. "In high school, I used to think that Demyx would abandon me. You know how it gets when you're in high school. You grow apart. I thought that maybe he would want a normal life, but when I told this to him he only laughed and said, 'Don't be silly. You're my best friend, why would I leave you?' He'll never know just how grateful I am for that. High school wasn't the greatest experience of my life. I couldn't blame it all on ignorance anymore. The kids made fun of me constantly, saying my parents didn't love me, that nobody loved me, that I was a black mark on society, stuff like that. Even the teachers hated me."

He swallowed. "I used to get in a lot of fights because of it. I couldn't control my temper at all and when they said things like that…I just couldn't stop myself. It's not like I proved them wrong or anything, and I knew that. Still, I guess I just wanted to hurt them like they'd hurt me." Another long pause. Axel took another drink of his tea, draining it, before going on.

"I was suspended a lot in high school, due to the fights. But…I made sure not to miss too much school. I made sure to do at least enough to pass. I didn't want to spend more time in that hell-hole than I had to." He drummed his fingers on the table, looking like he didn't want to continue. Nevertheless, "At graduation, I was so happy. Not only did this signify that I could leave high school, it meant I could officially leave foster care and live on my own. I already had a job, and had my eye on a nice apartment. I knew that it would be hard, but I was willing to go through it because I was tired of everything. Tired of being made fun of, tired of being pitied, tired of being supported by people who barely knew me. Just…tired. I thought that at graduation I was home free, but…" His voice caught a bit and he swallowed, "Some…some guys…I recognized them from the Junior class…probably put up to it by the Seniors…they thought it would be funny to throw eggs at me while I was walking across the stage."

This time it was unmistakable. The redhead's eyes were shining and Roxas could tell he was trying to hold back the tears. "Do you want to stop?" The blonde said quietly. Axel shook his head and wiped at his eyes. "No, I've gotta finish. I'm already this far in." He took another deep breath.

"I remember that everyone, even the teachers and the people in the audience were laughing. It was the most humiliating experience of my life. I ran off the stage and just…ran off. I can't remember the journey there, but I do remember ending up at the old park. You know, the one in the middle of town? Well, no sooner had I sat down to rest when Demyx showed up. Turns out he had followed me all the way from the school, even though he hadn't gotten his own diploma yet. 'I can get it later,' he said. ' Right now, my best friend needs me.' He'll never know how much that meant to me either."

Axel smiled, and looked relieved, almost like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "I remember telling Demyx, that day in the park, that I would never, ever let anyone else feel this way if I could help it."

Roxas stared into his now-empty cup. So that was why the redhead was always trying so hard with him. He felt like such an ass for treating him the way he had. "Hey, Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

Axel looked confused. "Why are you sorry?"

"For always being such an ass to you, for causing that fight with your friend," He paused, "For burdening you."

The redhead chuckled. "You're not a burden, Roxas." He leaned forward and ruffled his blonde locks. "But I guess…reliving my past, I can understand why it is you act the way you do. As for Demyx…" he trailed off. "I guess it doesn't matter anymore."

Roxas' head snapped up. "That's not true. He's your best friend, you should make up with him." He stood up and stalked across the room, picking up the phone. "Here," he said, thrusting it into his hands, "Call him. Right now."

Axel looked down at the phone in surprise. "Right now? But, Roxy, it's 3:00 on the morning."

"I don't care. If he wants to make up as bad as you do, he won't mind. Now call him."

Axel stared at him, and a slow smile began to creep its way across his face. "Alright, you win. I'll call him. But you need to get to bed. You look like you're about to keel over."

"Do not," Roxas protested, stifling a yawn. Axel lifted an eyebrow at him and the blonde decided it would be wise to just go to bed instead of risking the redhead carrying him. He said good night and went to his room. But instead of going to sleep, he stayed with his ear against the door.

Axel dialed Demyx's number hesitantly. _I shouldn't be doing this now,_ he thought,_ but that little twerp won't leave me alone if I don't._

After dialing, Axel held the phone to his ear. One ring…two ring…three…

"Hello?" Came a sleepy voice on the other end. Axel heart leaped. Holy crap, what should he say?"

"Hello?" This time the voice was a little annoyed. Axel cleared his throat and silently willed Demyx not to hang up before he said, "Ah, Dem-Demyx…hey…"

There was a pause before, "Axel? What the hell are you doing calling at 3:00 in the damn morning?"

"Well," Axel said sheepishly, "I just…I wanted to apologize. But I don't want to do it over the phone. Can you come over?"

"Now?" Demyx groaned, "Axel…can't it wait until morning?"

"It could, but I really don't want to wait until then."

Another groan. "Fine," he said, "But you owe me. And you have to let me sleep while I'm there."

"Deal," Axel said, relieved. "I'll, uh…see you when you get here, okay? Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

Random side-note: Anyone here like doing RPGs? Then please go to my homepage! That's practically all we do there. It's a lot of fun and plus you make new friends. Pleeeeaaaaaase? -Googoo eyes- We're in short supply of RPGers who can write coherent sentences. But...don't tell the current members I said that. 


	9. A Wonderful Mistake

AN: I am really proud of this chapter! I wrote this while running on 7 hours of sleep between 2 days. I am seriously about to fall asleep at the keyboard, not kidding. But I knew I'd never sleep if I didn't finish this so I of course just had to. This chapter has Akudemy in it. I KNOW it's an Akuroku story, but I decided I wanted Demyx to love him. Don't worry, this won't interfere with the Akuroku. You'll find out why later. ;) And also, just so you know, Demyx has kind of an alternate personality when he's angry. And the italicized words are his "voice of reason" talking to him. Now, if you'll notice, he doesn't listen to it all that much. But, it all seemed to work out fine. On to my reviewers!

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki-XD

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

I love you all, but I'm too tired to glomp you. By happy with my love and let me sleep. -Falls asleep- -Orange Leprechauns come in a giant comical mab and trample me, leaving me comically dusty but otherwise unharmed- Hehe, I'm too tired to full appreciate this sentence. I'll see it tommorrow morning (Meaning late afternoon) and start laughing. Alright, enjoy this chapter because after this and the next chapter you will never see Demyx again! Oh also, random note: Yes, Axel's hand IS where you're all thinking (On Demyx's ass) but he doesn't realize it. Alrighty, on with the chappy.

Disclaimer: I'm 16, for god's sake. Do you really think I could own a video game?

* * *

Axel opened the door to find a slightly rumpled and dazed-looking Demyx. He was glaring daggers at the grinning redhead for waking him up this early.

Axel stepped aside and let the tall blonde inside.

Demyx dragged himself over to the couch and plopped down with a dull thunk. "So, remind me again why I came over here at 3:00 in the morning?"

The redhead sat down beside him. "I wanted to apologize, remember? I just didn't want to do it over the phone, would've seemed impersonal, ya know?"

The blonde teen stared at him. "Please don't tell me you made me come over here just for that little short apology."

"I'm sorry." The next thing Demyx knew, Axel had gathered him into a tight embrace. "I can't do this over the phone. I'm really, really, sorry Dem. Can you ever forgive me for being such an ass?"

Demyx blushed a deep crimson. Luckily, Axel didn't see it. "L-like I could ever stay mad at you," he faltered, smiling slightly.

"No," Axel said quietly near his ear, "You've never been able to stay mad at me, have you? Not even when we were little when I pushed you off that jungle gym and broke your leg. You forgave me only after a day of being mad. Dem, you've always been there for me and I just want you to know that not once did I ever stop being thankful for it." He squeezed him tighter, if that were possible. "It was horrible how I treated you, and for you to come here and accept my apology like this…thank you. Thank you so much, Demyx."

Demyx was sitting still, in a daze. It wasn't just that Axel was so close, it was that Axel was close AND breathing in his ear AND trying so hard to make up with him. Not to mention the interesting place he had placed one of his hands. Did he even notice? "Um…uh, Axel? Is Roxas…is he still around?"

Through their contact, Demyx could feel Axel stiffen. "Uh…well, yeah, but…he's asleep right now."

Demyx sighed and pulled away from the hug, Axel arms offering a slight resistance. "I…I gotta go."

"What? But Dem you only just got here." The hands on his back tightened their grip. "At least stay the night. You don't really want to walk home in the dark do you?"

"I'll deal with it."

"Dem…"

"Look, just let me go, alright?" He tried to pull away, but Axel's grip was surprisingly strong. "Axel, let go!"

"No, I'm not going to just let you go without an explanation." He pulled Demyx a bit closer, causing him to blush slightly. Luckily, Axel didn't notice. "What problem do you have with Roxas?"

Demyx blinked, wondering how he should answer that._ I could always lie. But what could I say? I_ _just don't like him? That sounds dumb even in my head. Although, telling the truth could end up more disastrous. Oh geez he's gonna wonder what's taking me so long. Say something, you idiot. Anything_

"…I'm jealous of him."

…_Anything except THAT!! My god, you damn idiot, what did I say about the truth? What did I just say!? _

"Jealous?" Axel frowned. "Because…? Dem, you know you're my best friend and nothing is ever going to change that."

"That's not…why I'm jealous of him."

_No! Stop right now! Dangerous waters, my friend! Little red flag going up!_

"It's not?" Axel frowned. "Then why are you jealous?"

"Because…" Demyx paused. "Because he gets you. He gets your time and your love…everything…" He could feel his face heat up and knew it must be dark red by now.

"Dem…?"

Demyx placed a hand over the redhead's mouth. "Axel, I…"

_Don't say it! For the love of god don't say it!!_

"I love you."

There was a short pause before Axel frowned and grasped Demyx's wrist, pulling his hand away from his mouth. "Well, I love you too, Demyx. Why did you…?"

"No, I don't…" Demyx stared at him exasperatedly, "I don't mean like that, Axel."

"Then what do you mean?"

_His density is saving you! As long as you don't say anything else, you can avoid this. You can keep your friendship and he never has to know._

Demyx heaved a deep sigh. "It's…nothing, forget it."

"What?!" Axel's eyebrows had shot up his face. "What do you mean, forget it? How can I just forget that after you were so serious about it?"

"Please move your hands."

"No!" Axel only pulled Demyx back towards him, in another crushing embrace. "I'm not going to let you go until you tell me what's going on."

This time, the blonde struggled and squirmed, trying to get out, trying to avoid the tension that hung thick in the air between them. "Axel, let me go!"

The redhead didn't answer him, just kept up his tight hold. By this time, Demyx was more than a little pissed off and eager to get out of this position.

"You wanna know the truth?" he practically screamed, "Well, here it is: I fucking love you! And not just as a friend! No, I love you as in I'm IN love with you! As in I can't stop thinking about you no matter how fucking hard I try! As in I masturbate to your face all the time and I've had wet dreams over you since I was 14! Is that clear enough for you to understand?!"

Axel's grip went lax and Demyx took this opportunity to move. But, instead of moving to the far end of the couch or even leaving, Demyx only moved a little ways away, so he was looking right into the redhead's face. "Do you understand now?" He whispered softly. Axel nodded dazedly, his eyes wide and unblinking as of yet.

"Good." Demyx wasted no time in closing the space between them, crashing his lips haphazardly against Axel's.

_No, no you can't do that! Look at him, he's completely freaked out! Just pull back now and leave, it could be so easy! Just one little bit of willpower…_

But Demyx was way too far gone by now to listen to the voice of reason. He pushed Axel back on the couch, still kissing him even though it was obvious the redhead wasn't responding. Giving up on his mouth, he moved down to his neck and began to start leaving marks. He bit down particularly hard on one spot and Axel let out a loud cry of pain. Almost like a switch was thrown, Demyx realized where he was and what he was doing. This was AXEL, his best friend. Sure, he had fantasized about this for years now but it was never okay to…oh, god, what had he done?

Demyx jumped up quickly and retreated to the far end of the couch. "God, Axel, I…I'm so, so sorry. I don't…I didn't…oh, god…" He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in the denim of his jeans. "Don't hate me. Please don't hate me, I didn't mean to…"

He stopped as he felt hands run through his hair. Timidly, he lifted his head to find a smiling Axel. He seemed fine, other than the fact that he had several red marks on his neck. He leaned his face in close to Demyx's own.

"It's okay," the redhead breathed, his breath grazing across the pink lips. Before the blonde could say anything, Axel had pressed his lips to Demyx's.

The younger teen's eyes widened, but soon fluttered closed. THIS is what he had always fantasized about. This is what he really wanted.

Demyx moaned as a tongue found its way into his mouth, entwining with his own. A hand was underneath his shirt, roaming, warming his skin. Feeling like he should give something back, the blonde arched up into Axel's hips. He immediately smirked when he found that Axel was hard. This would be fun.

Roxas sat next to the door, staring through a gap in the door that had a perfect vantage point of the living room. He had been listening in on Demyx and Axel's conversation since the beginning and a few times he had been slightly surprised by what had happened, especially when the older blonde had said he was jealous of him, Roxas. But nothing surprised him more than Demyx's outburst.

That is, not until Demyx started to kiss the redhead. When he did that, Roxas felt an unexpected flare of possessiveness that he hadn't known existed. How dare that idiot blonde do that to Axel? It was obvious to anyone that the redhead didn't want it. Yep, the poor guy was just in shock. Any second now, he would throw Demyx off him and start wondering what the hell he was doing. Yep, it was only a matter of time.

But that wasn't what happened. Instead, Demyx got off of him own accord. And he looked…guilty? Strange. Well, it didn't matter. Soon, Axel would get up and tell Demyx that he should probably go home, then he could go to bed and Roxas could go to bed and everything would be fine.

But…that wasn't what happened. No, instead Axel got up and kissed him back. He kissed him back! Why would he do that, didn't that dirty blonde just practically jump him?

For some reason, seeing Axel initiate it made him feel strange. His chest was tight and he felt…heavy? And he was…now this was really weird…he was sad. No, not just sad. Horribly, crushingly depressed. The only other time he had felt this was when Sora died.

He began to realize that he was shaking and it took him a minute to realize he was crying. He reached a hand up to his eyes and tried to wipe the tears away but they would stop. They were coming strong and plentiful, with no end in sight.

As he wiped helplessly at his eyes, a rather loud sob escaped his lips. So busy was he trying to stop the tears that he didn't even think that the two in the living room might hear him.

Axel paused in his ministrations of leaving bite marks all over Demyx's bare chest. "Did you hear that?"

"Nnnn? Hear what?" Demyx's face was flushed and his eyes were swimming with lust, down to half-mast and dark.

Axel was half-tempted to ignore whatever it had been and continue with molesting the blonde, but he could have sworn it came from Roxas' room…

"I'll be right back," Axel said regretfully, earning a disapproving whine from Demyx. He got of slowly, trying not to disturb his arousal. However, it brushed against Demyx's upraised knee and he hissed, pausing. Again, he considered just ignoring it, but he knew he couldn't do that. So, being more careful this time, he climbed off the couch and walked the short distance to Roxas' room.

When he opened the door and looked inside, he had a moment of panic when he saw the young teen wasn't in bed. But when he heard a sob come from the doorway, he realized that Roxas had been spying on them. He was curled up, knees up to his chest and chin buried in them. Tears were flowing unchecked down his cheeks, thought from the state of his pajama shirt he had tried to wipe them away.

Axel crouched down beside him, hissing again as he disturbed his erection. "Roxas? Why are you crying?"

The blonde looked up at him with red puffy eyes, sparkling from the tears. "I…I don't…I don't know, Axel. I don't know why…I just started and…then I couldn't stop and…" he buried his face in his knees again, trying to quiet the sobs but failing.

"Hey, hey," Axel pulled him into a hug, Demyx and his erection forgotten for the moment. "It's alright," he said, stroking his hair, "It's alright, I'm here now. You just keep crying until it's over, okay?"

Roxas nodded into Axel's chest, but he doubted the redhead realized it. _Huh,_ he thought vaguely, _This seems…kinda familiar._

It took a while, but eventually Roxas had cried himself to sleep in Axel's arms. Axel picked him up and carried him over to his bed. He stared down at his face, which was tear-stained and dirty. _It's the same as before. Back in the hospital, when he had had that fight with his dad. But things were…a lot less complicated then._

Although his erection had long since softened, Axel's body still felt more than ready to go back into the living room and finish what he'd started. But he knew that couldn't happen. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Roxas had been spying on them and had seen everything that had happened. There was no doubt in his mind why the blonde had started crying, and if he let himself continue with Demyx he would never forgive himself. Unable to resist, Axel kissed Roxas' cheek gently and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Demyx was sitting up now, flipping through the channels on the TV. He looked up when Axel came into the room and smiled. "Hey."

It was obvious Demyx had gone soft too. His eyes no longer held that lustful look and his face had long since lost the flush, leaving it as pale as always. But it was also obvious that he was more than ready to pick up where they left off.

Axel sighed and sat down. "Look, Demyx…"

But the blonde wasn't listening. He had moved over to where Axel was and was shamelessly nibbling on his ear. Axel whimpered a bit and leaned into it, but caught himself.

"N-no!" He pushed the blonde away. "We can't…"

Demyx looked hurt. "What do you mean we can't? You were pretty into it before, what's the difference now?"

Axel looked away, but Demyx could read the silence. "It's because of him, isn't it? Roxas."

"Dem, it's just…" Axel ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "When I went in there, he was crying. He said he didn't know why. Well, he'd been spying on us and…Dem, I think he likes me. And it upset him to see us together."

He glanced at Demyx, who had an incredulous look on his face. "So, that's it? You're gonna ignore your own wants just because he had some little crush on you? Axel, you're spoiling him!"

"I know, okay? I know."

"This isn't necessary, you know. He's just a brat and has you wrapped around his little finger. Axel, you've gotta make a choice right now: Is it gonna be him, or…me?"

There was a long silence while Axel stared at the floor. Demyx scowled and stood up. "Fine. I see how it is." He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, the scowl still set firmly on his face. He stalked over to the door and stole one more glance over his shoulder. The redhead was still sitting on the couch, slumped over, making no motions to stop him.

The blonde shook his head disappointedly. "I thought you were better than this, Axel." With that, he left, closing the door softly behind him.


	10. Just One Time

AN: If you're not a fan of Akudemy, prepare to be very very dissapointed. Sorry everyone, I know you want Akuroku and only Akuroku but that's why I'm the author and you are not. Just so you know, this is the very last time you see Demyx. After this chapter, he's gone forever. To the reviewers!

FellowWithTheNeedle-Yay! My fellow nobody came and posted a comment!!! -glomp- I'm so happy!! And don't worry, once I get published you'll be the first to know and you can say you knew me when I was nothing more than a struggling author on FFnet.

Riku-Stalker-Hey, will you start an Akuroku story with me please? I ask you because you're one of the best writers I've met of my own age and I think we could write a really good one. If you want to, go to my website and register there, then start one in the role-playing section. And by the way, it's Ciao.

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader-Sorry, I can't make that promise. I love Akudemy!

Tsuzuki Misaki-XD

sanestinsanepersonever-No, you can't hurt my Demmy!!

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

I love you all, but unfortunately on this list I love FWTN best. (So I hope you feel pretty damn special ) Oh, did anyone notice that I renamed the chapters? Well I did because I was tired of them being so boring. Alright, on with the ficcy.

Disclaimer: When I one day own something, I will gloat over it to no end. However, it will never be Kingdom Hearts.

* * *

The next morning, Axel woke up on the couch._ That's funny,_ he thought, sitting up groggily, _What am I…?_ Suddenly he remembered what had happened last night with Demyx. He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. _I called him to make up, but I just made things worse._

"Axel?"

The redhead snapped his head up sharply to find Roxas standing in front of him, still in his pajamas and a worried expression on his face. "Are you alright?"

Axel flashed a grin. "Of course. Why would you think I wasn't?"

Roxas stared a him a moment before walking over and sitting next to him on the couch. "What happened to Demyx?"

The redhead's grin faltered. "He, um…he had to go home."

"Oh." Roxas stared at his feet. "I would have thought he'd stay over. You know, with everything that happened last night…"

"Nothing happened," Axel said quickly.

"Oh," The blonde said again, still looking at his feet. "Why not?"

The redhead couldn't answer that, so he just ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Hey, what time is it anyway?"

"It's…" Roxas glanced at the clock in the kitchen, "Almost 10:00."

"Shit," Axel groaned, standing up, "I'm late. Man, my boss is gonna flip out on me." He sighed and grabbed his shirt from the arm of the couch. Pulling it on, he glanced over a Roxas, who still hadn't moved at all. "You gonna be okay here by yourself?"

The blonde nodded slowly, his blue eyes finally looking up but still not looking at Axel. The redhead smiled softly and ruffled his hair as he walked by out the door.

Roxas watched Axel leave. What did he mean, nothing had happened? Roxas had seen what was going on; he may have been a teenager, but he wasn't ignorant in the ways of sex. He could tell that they had been about to go at it, so why hadn't they? Moreover, why had it bothered him so much last night?

The blonde groaned, settling back into the cushions. This would all be so much less complicated if he had just been allowed to kill himself.

_But,_ a voice in the back of his head said, _You never really wanted to kill yourself, did you? You wanted to be saved._

Roxas shrugged. Maybe he had wanted to be saved, somewhere in the back of his mind. But isn't that true of all people with depression? Everyone wishes there could be another way but in the end if someone _doesn't_ save them they resort to the only thing they can. But he had been saved, in more ways than one. What did that mean?

_It means that you weren't meant to die._

But why? Why would he be kept alive when he had no reason to live?

_You had a reason, you just didn't know it yet._

Roxas snorted. "Maybe," he said to no one in particular, "Fate wanted me to meet Axel? Is that it? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

There was no answer. Not that he expected one, since the voice was only in his head. "That is it. But why would I be meant to meet Axel?

He thought back over the last few days; That weird dream, which he had almost forgotten about; Axel comforting him after he had had that dream about Sora; The feeling of possessiveness he had felt when Demyx kissed the fiery redhead. All leading to one conclusion, albeit one he didn't want to acknowledge.

He had feelings for Axel.

If he thought about it, it wasn't all that surprising. Axel had been one of only 2 people in his life to ever tell him he loved him. He had saved him from himself and stuck with him even through his brattiest moments. It was inevitable, really.

_But,_ he thought, _If I told him, would he feel the same way? Probably not._

So he decided he wasn't going to tell him. At least not now. After all, they had time, right?

It was slow at Hartsol that day. Most of Axel's day consisted of making lunch for him and his fellow employees and sitting around waiting for someone to come in. Luckily, his shift was almost over and he could go home soon.

"Hey, Axel," a female voice said. Axel looked around. Larxene. "There's someone here to see you."

He frowned. "Who?"

Larxene only shrugged and gestured towards the door.

Axel went outside, looking around, and was surprised when he saw Demyx sitting at one of the tables. "Demyx?"

The tall blonde looked up and gave a half-smile. "Hey there, Axel."

The redhead sat down across from him. "What are you doing here?"

Demyx bit his lips and stared down at the tabletop. "Um…I wanted to apologize for how I acted yesterday. I just…I don't want that to be the way you remember me, Axel."

Axel frowned. "What do you…?"

"Let's not talk here," Demyx said, standing up. He held out a hand to Axel. "Come on, let's leave."

Axel hesitated. He probably shouldn't. His shift wasn't technically over yet. But…He looked around at the empty restaurant and decided it would be fine. He grabbed the blonde's hand and pulled himself up.

"So, what's this all about?" They were both outside, walking towards Demyx's apartment. They were going to go to a bar, but Demyx said he had beer so they had just decided to go to his place.

The blonde shrugged. "I needed to see you.

"Why?"

He sighed. "Do you really need to ask?"

"No," Axel said quietly, "I guess not."

They traveled in silence until they reached Demyx's apartment. When Axel stepped inside, he froze, looking around. There were boxes everywhere, labeled in black marker. He caught sight of one labeled "Clothes," and one labeled "Dishes."

"Demyx, what's…?"

"See, this is the reason I wanted you to come over." The blonde pulled 2 beers out of the fridge and handed one to Axel. "I, uh…I'm moving. I was offered a scholarship at a college a few states away."

The redhead stared at him, beer slack in his hands. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Demyx shrugged. "I wanted to last night, but…things got a little out of hand didn't they?" He chuckled.

"When are you leaving?"

"Day after tomorrow."

It was silent for a moment. Both of them just stood there, beers forgotten in their hands, not looking at each other. Finally, Axel cleared his throat. "I should…I should get back home. Roxas'll be wondering where I am." He turned towards the door and took a step before he felt a pair of skinny yet muscular arms wrap around his waist from behind.

"Please," Demyx said softly, "Just once, please."

"Huh? What do you…?"

"Let me make love to you," came his voice again, a hint of a sob at the edge. "Please, I'll never tell a soul and you don't have to tell Roxas just…don't let our last memory be an awkward conversation."

"Demyx…"

"Please…" This time the sob was clear.

Axel turned around in Demyx's arms and pulled him into a hug. The blonde buried his face in the redhead's shoulder. "Demyx, if I…if we…it'll only make it harder on you."

"I don't care," the blonde sobbed, his voice muffled.

They stayed like that for a few minutes while Demyx composed himself. "I don't care," he repeated, his voice husky from the tears. He removed his hands from around Axel's waist and wrapped them around his neck. Hesitating only slightly, he leaned up and connected his lips to Axel's.

Despite his protests, the redhead responded immediately. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want this.

Roxas had the TV on, but he wasn't watching it. He kept glancing at the clock. It was 8:00. Axel's shift had ended 2 hours ago. But Axel hadn't come home. The blonde teen felt a pang of worry. What if something had happened to him? He tried to tell himself to stay calm, tried to tell himself he had just gone out with some friends or maybe to a bar or something. But, if he had done that, wouldn't he have called?

Roxas wanted so badly to go out looking for the redhead, but he didn't see what good it would do since he didn't know where Axel could have gone.

So he waited. And waited. 8:00 turned to 9:00. And 9:00 turned to 10:00. Soon, despite his worrying, Roxas found his eyes drooping. He laid down on the couch and let himself drift off.

Axel started awake. For a moment, he wondered where he was. Then, he realized that he was holding onto a sleeping Demyx and everything came rushing back. He smiled slightly. The blonde was cute when he slept.

The redhead glanced at the clock and saw that the digital readout was 12:26. "Shit," he muttered, quickly sitting up and unwrapping his arms from Demyx's torso. The change in position caused the blonde to stir and open his eyes sleepily.

"Axel?" he mumbled. "What're you…?"

"It's past midnight. Roxas is going to worry." He glanced guiltily at Demyx's sleepy face. "I have to go."

"Oh," the blonde said softly, sitting up. Axel stood up and started going around the room, pulling on his clothes. Demyx watched him silently the whole time. Once the redhead had all his clothes on, the blonde stood up and wrapped his arms around him again, this time from the front. "I'll miss you," he breathed.

Axel hesitated before returning the embrace. "I'll miss you too, Dem."

Demyx looked up and kissed him one last time. "I love you, Axel."

The redhead nodded. "I know you do…I know." Reluctantly, he unwound his arms from the blonde and stepped away. Demyx provided no resistance, stepping back towards the bed and sitting down in the edge.

Axel left the apartment, not looking back until he had reached the outside. "I love you too, Demyx," he whispered to no one, starting the walk home in the dark.

When Axel opened the door to his apartment, all the lights were out but the TV was on. He peeked into the living room and saw Roxas asleep sprawled on the couch. He smiled at how cute the little blonde looked while he was asleep. Maybe being cute while asleep was a blonde thing?

He sat down next to the teen and shook his shoulder gently. He stirred and opened his bright blue eyes. He seemed confused for a moment, then his gaze flicked over to Axel.

"Axel?" he mumbled as if unbelieving he was there, "What time is it?"

"Almost 1:00," the redhead answered, smiling.

"Almost…" the blonde sat up, eyes livid, "Where the hell were you?!"

Axel didn't want to lie to the young teen, but he doubted the truth would go over very well, so he just shrugged and said, "You should get to bed."

Roxas wanted to protest, but he couldn't fight off the sleep that was threatening to claim him. So he complied, trudged over to his room. He went to his bed and laid down, feeling sleep come for him a second time. He could always grill Axel in the morning.


	11. Stay Away From Luxord

AN: Hello fans, we meet again! Okay, last chapter Axel was feeling torn. This time, he's in for a whole new headache. And his name is Roxas. But at least he's being civil towards my favorite redhead. Oh, wait, sorry, my SECOND favorite redhead. (First favorite is Reno) Anyway, Luxord is properly introduced in this one. And I'm sorry that I make him a bad guy because I do love him as much as someone can love a video game character but I mean come on! He has a goatee! And a british accent! It's too perfect not to take advantage of! On to my reviewers:

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker-TT TT You never came to my homepage. Was there some problem or did you just forget? Oh, and in case you didn't get my message, it's just a story for fun.

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

Love y'all! And don't blame me if I don't update for a while. My dad caught me and my friend on here at nearly 3 in the AM because she was reading this story! TT TT So now I have limits to how long I can be on the computer. And yes, being on microsoft word counts! I could understand taking away my internet for a while, that I can deal with, but my writing, too?! For some reason, I just can't write with a pencil and paper. I lose focus easily. When I type on the computer, though, it starts to flow once I get into the rythym and I can write an entire chapter in one go. On that note, this would have been done yesterday but my dad started yelling and kicked me off, even thought I wasn't done and stopping me while I'm in writing world is a bad idea. My writing personality is a bitch to other people. Anyway, I've rambled long enough. On with the chapter.

Disclaimer: Oh how wonderful it would be to own Kingdom Hearts. The Nobodies would reign and the streets would be paved with Disney characters' blood.

* * *

Axel sunk back into the cushions with a sigh. No matter what he did, the fates seemed set on making his life a lot more complicated. First with Roxas, then this thing with Demyx…it had to stop. He couldn't go on this way. He would go mad. 

"Well," he said out loud, "At least…oh, who am I kidding? There is no bright side." He sat up and stretched. Maybe a good night's sleep would help?

He staggered to his room and flopped down on his bed. He buried his head under the pillows and waited for sleep to come.

But it didn't come. The redhead tossed and turned half the night, throwing the occasional glance at his digital clock. None of it helped of course. He just had too much on his mind. Eventually, he gave up trying and padded across to his door, opening it gently. He peered out, looking around even thought he knew nobody was out there. He slipped out and headed towards Roxas' room.

The door creaked despite him attempts to be silent. Luckily, it seemed that the blonde was already asleep. Axel peeked around the door just to be sure and saw the teen laying there, the moonlight falling on his face, giving it an almost ethereal glow. Despite the fact that he was frustrated and troubled, that sight made him smile.

The redhead quietly stepped into the room and shut the door. For a moment, he just stood there, watching Roxas sleep, but then he found himself crossing the room. He sat down on the edge of the bed. He couldn't resist brushing a lock of hair stained platinum by the moon from the teen's childlike face.

Roxas stirred slightly, moving with Axel's hand. The redhead's heart melted and he couldn't stop himself from brushing his fingers along the teen's cheek. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't, because the blonde's blue orbs opened not too long after.

He blinked a few times, trying to decide whether or not it was a dream. "Axel?"

The redhead smiled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

The blonde sat up. "It's okay. What are you doing in here?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Oh." Roxas stared at the blankets. "Why not?"

Axel sighed. "I have a lot on my mind. Way too much to sleep."

"You wanna talk about it?"

The redhead shook his head. "Nah, not really." He smiled at the blonde shyly. "But…if you'd let me stay in here for a while, it might help."

Roxas scooted over and gestured to the empty space. Axel smiled gratefully and laid down. The blonde scooted back close to him and laid his head by the redhead's chest. Surprised, Axel didn't know what to do at first until the blonde grabbed one of his arms and wrapped it around himself.

_He must still be half-asleep,_ the redhead realized. But he decided that this was fine. He tightened his hold on the young teen.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Hm?"

"Where did you go tonight?"

Axel mentally cursed. He didn't want to lie to Roxas, and he couldn't avoid a direct question like that. So, gritting his teeth, he said, "To Demyx's."

There was a long pause. For a moment, Axel thought that the blonde teen had fallen back asleep. But then he said, "I see…"

"He, um…he's moving. And he just wanted to say goodbye."

"For 7 hours?"

Damn. He had him there. "Uh…well…"

"It's fine. It's your life. Sleep with whoever you want."

There was a hint of anger in his voice, with an underlying note of jealousy. "It wasn't like that, alright? He's my best friend, and…I was doing him a favor."

"So you don't love him?"

"What?"

"You don't love him. You fucked him and you don't love him. That's great, Axel, that's really great."

"I never said that."

"Then say you love him."

"What?"

The blonde sat up partway, pinning the redhead with a scrutinizing cerulean stare. "Tell me that you love him."

Axel blinked, wondering if this was a trick question. He sighed and dropped his gaze. "Alright…I-I love him. Happy?"

Roxas gave a satisfied, if not a little sad, smile and laid back down. "Good. Now…do you love me?"

Axel thought that his eyebrows would shoot up into his hair. "W-what?"

"I said," the blonde laid his head on the redhead's clothed chest, "Do you love me?"

He had to be out of it. The Roxas that Axel knew would never say something like that. "Of course I do."

"Do you?" Axel looked down and found the teen staring at him, his eyes pleading. For the second time that night, he felt his heart melt. He smiled.

"Of course I do," he repeated.

Roxas chewed on his bottom lip, looking like he was trying to decide something, then practically lunged forward, pressing his lips against Axel's.

The redhead was so stunned that he could only lay there as the teen kissed him. He had known Roxas had feelings for him, but…he hadn't been expecting this one bit.

After a while, when he got no response, the blonde pulled away and sighed. "I'm sorry."

Axel shook his head and pulled him close, pressing their lips together again. This time it was Roxas' turn to be surprised. He let out a small squeak as the redhead pulled him forward but quickly adjusted, wrapping his arms around his neck.

As Axel pushed his tongue into the teen's mouth, he couldn't help thinking about the few kisses he and Demyx had shared. They were less juvenile than with Roxas. But that was to be expected, since it was obvious that the teen didn't have much experience. Then again, Demyx hadn't had much experience either, but still…

"Stop that."

"Huh?" It took a minute for his mind to register that Roxas had pulled away. His blue orbs were staring at him, quivering with anger. "Stop what?"

"You're comparing me."

Ooooo, dead on. The teen was sharp as a tack, that was for sure. Axel could do nothing but stare at him, since he couldn't deny it and confirming it would be a bad idea.

"Let's just go to bed," the teen sighed, resuming his position next to Axel. "Goodnight."

The redhead mentally berated himself and settled back down, entwining an arm protectively around the blonde's waist. "Goodnight."

In the morning, things went normally. Nothing was said about the events of last night, for different reasons.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Hm?" Axel looked up from the stove, a piece of toast hanging from his mouth.

Roxas let out a small chuckle at the sight. "Do you mind if I go to work with you today?"

"Sure," the redhead said, pulling the toast out of his mouth, "But you'll probably end up sitting there bored again.

"It's okay," the blonde said brightly, "It's better than staying here alone."

It wasn't better than staying home alone. Maybe it was that he had slept through half of the redhead's shift last time, but he couldn't remember it being as mind-numbingly boring as this.

"Only an hour left," he sighed gratefully.

"Hello there."

Startled, the blonde looked up and discovered a blonde man with a matching goatee grinning down at him. "You're Roxas, aren't you?"

He was British, Roxas noted quickly. "Yeah, I am. What of it?"

The man laughed. "My name's Luxord." He extended a hand.

Roxas shook it hesitantly. Luxord…where had he heard that name before?

"Axel sent me out here. Said that his shift would be lasting about an hour longer than usual."

The blonde teen groaned. "You're kidding? I have to endure this boredom for another 2 hours?"

That caused Luxord to chuckle again. "He said that you were probably bored, so he said that if you wanted to go home I could take you. My shift just ended you see."

"Oh." Roxas felt a bit uneasy, but he was so bored that he paid it no mind. "Yeah, okay. Let's go then. Before my brain explodes.

The brit chuckled again. "Well, come on then."

"Hey, where are you going? Axel's apartment is this way."

"I know. I have to stop by my place real quick. Sorry, but I have a bird and if he doesn't get fed immediately after I get home he starts squawking and disturbing the neighbors. The only reason the landlord lets me keep him is because I keep him so quiet."

"Oh, okay."

When they reached Luxord's apartment, the blonde looked around quickly. It was so nice. And clean too. Axel's was never this clean.

"Make yourself at home," Luxord said, gesturing towards the couch. He left the room and Roxas sat down at the far end of the small couch.

"You want something to drink?"

Luxord poked his head out of a room that was presumably the kitchen.

Roxas thought for a minute. He was kind of thirsty. "Sure, sounds good. Pepsi if you got it."

Luxord came out a few minutes later with 2 glasses of Pepsi. He handed one of them to the young teen and sat down beside him.

"So…" Roxas said, cradling his drink, "What happened to that bird?"

"Hm? Oh, his cage is in the kitchen. I fed him while I was in there."

"I see. Can I see him?"

"Sure, I guess. But drink your Pepsi first. My guests seem to have a bad habit of putting down drink and never finishing them. It's unnerving."

"Oh, okay." Roxas tilted his head back and drained the glass in one gulp. He looked over and found Luxord staring at him. "Thirsty much?" The British man laughed. They both stood up, Roxas swaying slightly.

"You okay there?"

The teen nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little…woozy."

The older man grinned. "Good, means it's taking effect. Thank god, I can stop this 'cheery host' thing."

Roxas turned his head slowly around. "Huh?"

Luxord shook his head. "Do you still not understand? Well, let me show you then." He swept his arms under the young teen's knees and picked him up, carrying him bridal style towards a room at the far end of the apartment. He pulled it open and revealed a bedroom.

At first, Roxas' sluggish brain couldn't process it, but suddenly it all clicked. Axel hadn't asked Luxord to take him home. The reason he was feeling sluggish is because the brit had spiked his drink. And the reason they were in here…Luxord was planning on raping him.

He tried to struggle, but he felt like he was moving through water. It was so hard to move, so hard to think. What could he do? He was helpless.

The older man threw him on the bed and climbed in on top of him. "This is gonna be fun."

"Hey, Larxene, you seen Roxas?"

Larxene looked up from a dish she was trying to scrub clean. "Uh…I think I saw him talking with Luxord earlier. Why do you ask?"

"Well, because he's not out there anymore."

"Maybe he went home."

"I doubt it. He's the one who asked to come and he wouldn't leave without telling me."

"Well…I dunno, maybe Luxord kidnapped him or something."

Axel froze while putting away a big pot. He knew Larxene had been joking, but…

"I gotta go."

"What? Axel, your shift isn't over yet."

"Too bad. I'll apologize later."

"Axel…"

Axel didn't turn around, only ran out the door. _Please let me get there in time. Please let him be okay._

* * *

AN: Alright, now you decide. Does poor Roxy get raped by Luxord, or does Axel get there in time to save him? Personally, I think he has enough problems. But, it's your choice. This one is out of my hands. 


	12. Knight in Shining Armor

AN: Sorry, this one took a little longer. The bat of inspiration hasn't been striking as often as usual. So this one's a little half-assed, but believe me the next one will be better. Anyway, most seemed to want Axel to save him so that's what happens. I'm not that great at writing about rape or things like that so sorry if it's not overly great. Probably the next thing I will submit won't be this but a story I promised to my friend and have yet to write. It'll just be a one-shot, but it's gonna be hilarious so check it out once it's up please. On to the reviewers:

chunkymonkey613-Yay! Peoples, this is my best friend who I got to read this story finally! Means a lot that you would GB, since you don't like yaoi and all.

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality-I didn't name the chapters at first, so that's why that's that way. And I am going to do something with his parents next chapter so look forward to that, people!

Love you! Okay, on with the sucky chapter. And go ahead and say it's sucky, personally I think this is one of the worst chapters.

Disclaimer: Damn you, patents!! Keeping me from owning Kingdom Hearts!!! T T

* * *

"N-no…" Roxas sobbed as Luxord started biting his neck. "Stop…please."

The older man ignored him, ripping his shirt off. Literally. It seemed it was too impatient to pull it over the teen's head, so he just ripped it at the seams.

New skin exposed, Luxord started biting and licking Roxas' nipples, none too gently, making the boy cry out in pain.

"Shut up, will you?" The man growled. "Shut up and I'll go easy on you."

Roxas obeyed, clamping his lips shut, maybe holding onto the false hopes that, just maybe, the brit would take pity and him and let him go if he was good.

No such luck, it seemed. The next thing the teen knew, Luxord had his hand down his pants. Roxas gasped and tried to struggle. But, even though the older man wasn't holding him down, he could barely move. The drug was still taking effect. He whimpered in fear as Luxord started pumping his hand up and down his length.

Soon, however, the whimpers turned into ones of pleasure. He didn't want to, but he couldn't help it. Despite the circumstances, it felt good. Luxord's hands were skilled.

"You like that?" The brit growled in his ear. Roxas could do nothing but nod slightly, not noticing until now that his eyes were clamped shut. "Good." The older man increased his pace, bringing Roxas to climax. A hand was placed over his mouth to keep him from screaming.

Before he had time to catch his breath, the teen found himself being flipped over onto his back. He felt his pants pulled down and heard the jingle of a belt being undone. He braced himself. This was it…

Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door. "Luxord!! You bastard, open this door right now!!"

Luxord froze and Roxas felt a wave of relief wash over him. It was Axel. Axel was here.

There was a splintering sound and a loud crash and suddenly the door to the bedroom was thrown open, revealing an Axel whose face was almost as red as his hair from anger. He grabbed a still-stunned Luxord and threw him against a wall, throwing a few punches to his face as well. The brit's face was bloody and unrecognizable before Axel finally released him, slumping forward on the floor, barely conscious.

Axel quickly crawled over to where Roxas was and pulled him up into a sitting position. He smiled slightly. "You okay?"

"A-Axel…" For a minute, Roxas just stared at him, unbelieving that he was here. Then a loud sob escaped from his mouth and his head was buried in Axel's chest. "Axel…he was going to…he tried to…"

"Shhh…" Axel stroked his hair soothingly. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm here. He'll never touch you again, I promise." He let Roxas cry for a while, rocking him quietly. After a while, he realized that this probably wasn't the best place to be. "You wanna go home?"

The blonde nodded, his sobs substantially reduced. Axel pulled his pants back up and tried to get him to stand up, but he only crumpled to the floor. The drugs still hadn't worn off.

It didn't bother Axel; he just scooped the teen up in his arms and carried him out of Luxord's place, back to his own apartment.

"I'm sorry."

Axel looked down, surprised. He had been walking for a while and they were almost back to his apartment. Roxas hadn't said a word the entire time. Axel had thought he had fallen asleep. Apparently not. "What for?"

"I shouldn't have believed him. I'm so stupid."

"It's not your fault," Axel said, smiling at him reassuringly. "None of this is your fault. Don't worry about it so much."

Silence fell between them both as Axel opened the door to his apartment. He switched on the light and made his way over to Roxas' bedroom. Opening the door, carefully since Roxas was still in his arms, he quickly laid the blonde teen on his bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. He thought he was asleep, but when the redhead turned away, he felt a tug on his sleeve. Looking around, he saw Roxas staring at him, hanging onto his sleeve.

"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" The blonde said quietly, his eyes pleading.

Axel sighed and sat back down on the edge of Roxas' bed. "Of course not. I'm right here."

The blonde gripped his arm tighter, as if afraid that letting go would make Axel disappear. The redhead stroked his hair absent-mindedly, soothingly. As he threaded his finger through the silky hair, he thought back to what Luxord had been about to do. What he would have done if Axel hadn't gotten there in time. If he hadn't been able to save Roxas, he didn't know what he would have done. The poor boy had already gone through enough in his short life; he didn't need to add that to his list.

Although…now that he thought about it, he actually didn't know what had gone on in the teen's life before he had tried to commit suicide. The blonde had always danced around the subject. He almost asked him then and there, but then decided against it. It could wait until tomorrow. He glanced back at Roxas' peaceful face. He had fallen asleep it seemed. And he couldn't blame him for being exhausted. Smiling slightly, Axel laid down and pulled his small body to his own.

Roxas woke up the next morning and the first thing he noticed was that he was laying by Axel. He smiled. So he had kept his promise and hadn't left. Not that the blonde was surprised; Axel wasn't one to break promises easily, even silly ones like this one.

The second thing he noticed was that the drug had worn off. To test it out he sat up and stretched. He felt stiff but otherwise fine.

The movement woke Axel. He yawned and gripped the younger boy around the waist. "Good morning," he said brightly. "You feeling better?"

"Much," Roxas said, grinning, "Except I'm a little hungry."

"Then we'll have to remedy that." Axel stood up, taking Roxas with him and throwing him over his shoulder, ignoring his cries of protest.

"Hey, Roxas?"

The blonde looked up from his eggs and bacon. "Yeah? What is it?"

Axel sighed and absent-mindedly moved his food around with his fork. "I was just wondering…well, you've never really told me, that is and…" He sighed again, exasperated, "Are you ever going to tell me why it is you tried to commit suicide?"

Roxas blinked in surprise. It was true; he had never actually told the redhead about his brother and what his life had been like before. And he had been so patient. Hell, he had even told him about his own past. So, he supposed he owed him that much at least.

"There's not really much to tell," he said slowly, "But…I guess I owe you so I'll tell you." He put his fork down. "I, uh…I had a brother named Sora. He was my parents' favorite. Everyone loved him and praised him. And…as a result, I usually ended up being ignored."

"So you resented him?"

Roxas shook his head. "No, because he never rubbed it in my face or anything. But, I guess in a way I was a little jealous. He was my only friend.

"Anyway, one day we went out driving and, uh…well, I was the one driving. We got into an accident and he died." The blonde sighed. This felt like such a long time ago, even thought it was only a few months ago.

"My parents hated me after that. In their mind, I wasn't their son anymore. So, I thought that nobody would miss me if I died." He glanced up. "You remember that fight with my dad you walked in on? Well, it was about that."

Axel twiddled his thumbs absent-mindedly. "I'm sorry."

Roxas shrugged. "It was in another life. Things are different now and it doesn't matter. I'm okay."

Axel nodded, but he didn't believe him. He knew from experience that hurt like that never really went away. But he was coping, and that was the important thing. Doubtless, he would need help with this sometime in the future, but for now it was dormant.


	13. The Green Monster

AN: I've been feeling really off lately, and I've been unable to write. But it came back! XD And this chapter is a really good one in my opinion. Roxas' dad is in this chapter. I hate him too much to give him a name, so he's just 'The man'. Anyway, remember when I said Demyx was gone forever? Well...I kinda lied. He's on the phone in this chapter, and he's our little Roxy's competition. Roxas can be jealous when he wants to be. Just so you know, I actually don't know the procedure to gain guardianship rights so just humor me and pretend that what I said is true, okay? To the reviewers!

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker-Of course I still wanna write it. It saddens me that I have to wait until August, but I guess I gotta be patient, eh?

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi-I already said it, he's just too stereotypical bad-guy to not take advantage of. But I do love him as much as one can love a video game character, that I promise you. He's just the bad guy in all my stories.

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz-Normally, I don't mention anonymous reviewers. But I wanna say thank you for the awesome review! I'm glad you enjoyed my story and I hope you read the rest of it.

I love my reveiwers so much. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Oh, random thing: I like to give my stories theme songs. But I can't think of any that would fit it. Any suggestions would be appreciated. On with zeh ficcy!

Disclaimer: T'would be a grand day in hell when Kingdom Hearts belonged to me. I would bring the tequila shots! XD

* * *

School was going to start soon. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem, but under the circumstances it was a huge problem. Axel knew what he had to do, but he kept putting it off. Mostly for Roxas' sake, but for his own as well. After all, it's not like he was exactly thrilled about the whole thing.

But it need to be done. So, gathering up his courage, Axel told Roxas he was going out. He walked for a while until he reached a small yellow house. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, he rang the doorbell.

A man in his 50's answered the door, looking about as welcoming as a scorpion. "What do you want?" He growled.

_How cheerful,_ Axel thought warily. "U-um, I need to talk to you…about your son."

His eyes widened and his nasty composure dropped. "Sora? What about him?"

"Uh…" the redhead rubbed his arm uncomfortably, "Not him. Your other son, Roxas."

Well, that didn't last long. The scorpion-like look was back. "I have no son named Roxas. Now, please leave."

He went to shut the door, but Axel held it open. "Look, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important. Just hear me out and I promise you'll never hear from me or Roxas again." _Probably…_

The man seemed to weigh his options. On the one hand, he could easily shut the door and ignore this red-haired man in his doorway. Though, that would mean he would keep trying until he got him to talk. On the other hand, he could talk to him now and get this headache over with quickly. Though that in itself was a painful choice. He thought for a few more minutes before finally opening the door all the way to let Axel in.

"Thank you." Axel stepped in and looked around. He had never actually gone inside the last time he was here, but he had caught a glimpse when Roxas had gone inside. It was a pretty nice house.

"So what do you want?"

Too bad the residents weren't. "Uh, right…I need…guardianship rights."

The man frowned. "Guardianship rights? The fuck you need those for?"

"Um, well…" Axle rubbed the back of his neck, "School is going to start soon. I've been taking care of your son…" the man growled, "…of Roxas, and, well…you currently have guardianship rights. Since you disowned him and all, it would be really awkward and all to go to school. So…it's not like you need them or anything, or even want them. I have the papers right here, all you have to do is sign."

The man started weighing his options again. He could withhold them and cause that little brat some grief. But, if he did that, this redhead wouldn't stop bugging him. It would probably be easier just to give him the rights, painful as it may be.

"You promise you and that little bastard'll never come 'round here again if I sign this?"

Axel's anger flared at the term 'little bastard', but he squelched it and forced himself to smile. "Of course. You'll never see either of us again."

He debated a minute longer before grabbing the paper and quickly signing it. "No get out of my house."

"Of course. Thank you, sir, good day." The minute Axel was out, the door slammed shut with such force that he felt a breeze. Damn, what a horrible man. Not only was he rude, but he had called his own son a bastard. His own son! It made a little more sense now why Roxas had tried to kill himself.

Roxas sat on the couch, watching TV. He was bored out of his skull. Axel had left to go do something and had made him stay here. It made him almost glad that school would be starting soon. At least he'd have something to fill his day while Axel was at work or off doing random things he didn't want to tell him about.

Until then, he was still bored. What to do, what to do? There was nothing on TV, that was mostly on for background noise. He didn't know how to cook, and besides he wasn't hungry. He couldn't go anywhere because Axel would worry.

_Maybe I'll take a shower,_ he thought. He had already taken a shower last night before he went to bed, but he was that bored.

He leaned against the wall of the shower, just letting the spray hit him. Whenever he was in here, he always took a moment to think about the things going on in his life. Now, the thing that was on his mind was Axel. It had only been a few months since he'd realized how much he cared about the older redhead and every day it had only grown. At first he told himself it would probably go away, that it was just a crush and pursuing it would do no good. But lately, he found himself just staring at Axel. And he'd started noticing things he never had before. For instance, that he had a small mole on his neck. And that his right eye was smaller than his left eye. And that he had a habit of licking his lips whenever he was reading something. All of this added up into the boy that had saved him, and whom he deeply cared for. Now, the only problem was seducing him. He'd tried on several other occasions, but for some reason the redhead seemed immune to his advances. It was unnerving.

As he climbed out of the shower and started to dry himself off, the telephone rang. Quickly wrapping the towel around his waist, he caught the phone on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"…Roxas?"

"Yes." He frowned. "Who is this?"

"It's Demyx."

Roxas gripped the phone tighter. He didn't dislike Demyx per se, but when someone has slept with a person you're trying to seduce, it puts a slight damper on your relationship. "Oh…hi."

"Um, hey…is Axel there?"

"No, he's not. So, uh, I heard you moved?"

"Yeah. A few months ago."

"Oh…why haven't you called sooner?"

"Well, I did. I've called quite a few times actually. Axel and I are still best friends after all."

"Oh, I see." Roxas didn't try to hide the venom in his voice. No wonder it had been so hard to get Axel to notice him lately. He was still hung up on Demyx.

"So…" Demyx's voice was uncomfortable, "How have you been?"

"Fine," he said coldly, "And you?" He didn't actually care; it was just a social habit.

"I've been okay." There was a long pause before he said, "Well, I've gotta go. Tell Axel to call me back."

"Sure, whatever." He hung up, having absolutely no intention of giving Axel the message. It pissed him off so much. That dumb, mullet-headed blonde moved of his own free will. He ruined his own chances of being with Axel. He shouldn't be calling all the time, making it impossible for anyone else to be with him. It wasn't fair.

Roxas heard the door open and looked up to find Axel coming inside. The redhead stopped in his tracks. "Uh…do I even want to know?"

It took him a minute to realize what he was talking about. He was standing in the middle of the kitchen in a towel, holding the phone and glaring. Yes, he had been glaring at the phone. It's not like Demyx himself was there to glare at, so he had to settle.

"Uh…" he quickly set the phone down and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I think I'll…just go get dressed."

He tried to walk away as sexily as possible, but when he looked back Axel wasn't even watching him. He was checking the calls. Damn Demyx, he ruined every single attempt.

After he was dressed, he came out to find Axel on the phone. Presumably with Demyx. Well, he'd see about that.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Hold on a sec. Yeah, Roxas?"

"Could we do something today?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.

"Uh…I dunno, Roxy. I still have to make dinner, and you need to start going to bed earlier for school. Maybe tomorrow, okay?"

The blonde scowled as Axel turned back to his phone conversation. Damn, could nothing pull him away from his precious Demyx?

He sat on the couch for a while with the TV on, every once in a while shooting glares towards the kitchen. After he ate dinner, which wasn't nearly as good as he would have expected from Axel (he blamed that on Demyx too) he just went to bed. It didn't seem like there was much chance of him talking with Axel that night.

He was just drifting off when the door opened. "Hey, Roxy, you awake?"

He made a sound in the back of his throat to show that he was, indeed, awake.

"Good." He felt a weight on the bed and suddenly he was wide awake. He sat up. "What's up, Axel?"

"I have a surprise for you," the redhead said, grinning widely.

Roxas' heart skipped a beat. "A surprise? What kind of surprise?"

"Well…I didn't actually want to say anything until later, but I just couldn't wait. I am now your official guardian."

The blonde frowned. "What?"

"Well, see, I went to your parent's house and got guardianship from your father. Then I was on the phone all night with the courthouse sealing the deal. Now I'm your legal guardian, so we don't have to worry about someone taking you away."

"Oh." Roxas felt a little disappointed, he had been expecting something a little different. But he was glad that he hadn't been on the phone with Demyx all night at least. He smiled and hugged Axel around the waist. "That's…great, Axel. Thank you."

The redhead grinned and hugged him back. He briefly kissed the top of his head before saying, 'Alright, I'll let you get back to sleep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Roxas felt a sense of loss as Axel left the room, but nevertheless he was happy. With Axel as his legal guardian, there was no longer a chance that he might be forced to leave. And, since he knew it was Demyx taking Axel away from him, he would just have to up his efforts. He laid back down and wrapped the blankets around him, even though he knew he'd get no sleep tonight.


	14. Back to School

AN: Well, it's back to school for Roxy in this chapter. At first he doesn't want to go (and can you blame him?) but eventually he's alright with it. I just wanna say in here, yes Kairi is in it. And yes, she is kind of a bitch. But I am NOT a Kairi-basher. I think she's actually a sweet girl in the games (although that keyblade thing Riku gives her is retarded as all get-out. It flowery and sparkly and we don't see her use it one damn time.) I just thought that I wanted to make her Sora's girlfriend. They are a cute couple after all. And, since she was his girlfriend, she would be mad at Roxas. But Riku forgives him, because Riku's cool like that. XD Also, there's another coupling underway! HaynerxSeifer. Yes, I know it could never happen in a thousand million years, but I just really like HaynerxSeifer for some reason. Also, I completely love Zexion. Seriously, he's my second-favorite Emo Nobody. (First is Roxas, obviously) So, I put him in here as a student. I might add Vexen later, but I'm a little iffy on that. If I mention him, it'll probably be in a horrible lab explosion. To zeh reviewers!

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker-It's not exactly taking turns writing chapters. What it would probably be is that I would write a little, then you would write a little, on and on until a plot was formed. I've done this with a lot of people on my website, it's really fun.

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz

LioraScarlette

Tagi-sama

xxlight-kitsune-chanxx

Love ya'll more and more each day. And I hope that when I'm a serious writer you'll all support me then too by buying my book. Anway, reviews are love so review away. The more reviews I get, the faster I update! Oh, and just so everyone knows, my homepage is open to anyone who wants to go there and RP, so if you like that kind of stuff please come. Alright, I've rambled long enough.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, blah blah blah I need to get of before my dad yells so this is the best I can do.

* * *

"You gonna be okay?"

Roxas shook his head slightly. Axel was walking beside him, trying to comfort as much as possible. School started that day, and the blonde was more than a little nervous. Everyone had heard about the car crash that had taken his brother's life and, like his parents, they blamed him. He had barely gotten through the last year, how he was going to make it this time even he didn't know.

"Well, uh…you'll be able to see your friends again," Axel said, trying to lighten him up.

"What friends?" Any friends he could have claimed to have last year were actually Sora's friends. They had never really liked him.

"Well, just…uh…" Axel gave an exasperated sigh. "Look, I know it's going to be hard. But just remember, you'll get through this." They arrived at the school entrance. "Alright, I don't work today so I'll be here to meet you when school's out, alright?"

Roxas nodded solemnly. As Axel started walking away, he suddenly gripped him around the waist. "Don't make me go," he sobbed, "Please. I could be home schooled or something, just please don't make me do this!"

The redhead ran his hands comfortingly through the young teen's hair. "Roxas, if you back down from this, you're just proving to them that you're a coward. I know it's hard, alright? I've been there. But if you don't face this you'll never be able to face anything else."

"I know," he mumbled into Axel's shirt, "But…"

"But nothing. Now, I'm sorry, but you're going in there whether you like it or not." He detached Roxas' arms from around his waist and gave him a small push towards the door.

The blonde glanced back. Axel was still there, smiling, encouraging him to keep going. So, taking a deep breath, he did. He kept walking until he was inside the school.

"…I heard he's some kind of crazed psychotic."

"…Me too. And I heard he crashed on purpose because he was jealous."

"…Poor Sora. Just had to have him as a brother."

"…Probably taking drugs or something."

"…Better stay away from him if you don't want to be next."

"…Freak."

"…Loser."

"…Psycho."

They just wouldn't stop. No matter how hard he tried to avoid it, everywhere he went everyone said something about him. And every word of it was bad. The worst part? They didn't even try to hide it. In fact, it was almost like they wanted him to hear it.

Checking his watch, Roxas found that it was 15 minutes until he needed to be in homeroom. But he couldn't just stay out here, so he headed towards room 415.

The homeroom teacher already had a seating chart figured out. At least he didn't have to deal with sitting in isolation, though whether that was a relief or not had yet to be decided.

When he sat down, he found a boy he didn't recognize sitting in the seat beside him. That was weird. Usually people wanted to talk to their friends before homeroom. What was even stranger was that this boy was…smiling at him.

"Uh…hello," Roxas said experimentally. There was no way to be sure whether this person was going to turn on him suddenly.

"Hi," the boy said brightly, "I'm Hayner. I just moved here."

Well, that would explain why this boy was here so early and why he was being friendly to him. Once the other kids got to him, he'd be whispering like everyone else. But that didn't mean he couldn't use the friendliness to get through today. "My name is Roxas."

"You're the first friendly face I've seen around here. Everyone's so hostile towards the new kid."

"Believe me; I'd trade you any day." He sighed. "Likewise on the first friendly face thing."

They started talking, mostly about random stuff like sports or movies. Before they knew it, homeroom had started. Students started filing in reluctantly, groaning about summer being over and whatnot. Roxas recognized a few of them, but none of them were friendly faces.

There were four other people at the table. Sitting across from Roxas was Riku, Sora's best friend. Although, he suspected there had been more. He had woken up frequently to Sora sneaking out the window and whenever he looked he could see him running off with the platinum-haired boy.

Next to Riku sat Zexion, the school's famous Emo-brain. Roxas didn't know him personally, but had heard a lot about him last year.

On Hayner's other side sat, oh joy of joys, Kairi. Now, Roxas had nothing against Kairi personally. She actually had something against him. Why? Because she had been Sora's girlfriend. Although, if that thing with Riku was anything to go by, it was all for show. He waved slightly and gave a small smile, but she just glared and looked the other way.

The last person to sit at the table, on the opposite end, was Seifer. He was the school thug, though he never actually beat anyone up. Mostly, it was just for show.

Roxas felt a tap on his shoulder and warm breath on his ear. "Hey, who's that at the far corner?" He smiled slightly. "That's Seifer," he whispered back, "School tough-guy, yadda-yadda, why don't you ask him yourself if you're so curious?"

Hayner blushed slightly.

"Hey, um…Roxas?" Roxas looked up in alarm. It took him a moment to register that Riku had spoken to him. That was a surprise. In the entire time Roxas had known him, Riku had never spoken to him unless absolutely necessary. "Yeah?"

"Um…" He bit his lip thoughtfully, "I just want you to know…what happened with your brother…well, I'm sorry. I know how close you two were and I know you must have gone through a rough time."

Now that was a big surprise. Nobody had ever thought about how painful it must have been for him. Everyone just blamed him. And Riku, of all people? Shouldn't he be the one who hated him the most?

"Y-you don't…hate me?"

He sighed. "I did at first. In the beginning, I blamed you for taking Sora away from me. But…it was an accident. And you were his brother. It really must have hurt you to lose him, you knew him better than anyone." He glanced over. "Right, Kairi?"

She glared at him. "You go ahead and pass off Sora's death like it was nothing. But remember, you were just his friend. Sora and I were in love." Roxas saw Riku wince slightly, but Kairi didn't notice because she had turned away. So, he had been right.

"Well, thanks for that. Sora was really lucky to have a friend like you, Riku."

The platinum-haired boy just nodded, looking down at the table. Roxas knew that had probably been a hard thing for him to say, since it was obvious a part of him wanted to blame it on someone.

The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom. Hayner tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, what was that about?" Roxas shook his head. "Please don't ask now. I'll tell you later, if I get a chance."

He looked like he was going to press it, but decided to keep quiet. As they walked side by side, Seifer brushed against Hayner's arm, causing him to jump slightly. Roxas caught a smirk on the taller boy's face and knew that it hadn't been an accident.

To Roxas' delight, Hayner had almost all the same classes. The gods must have decided to cut him a break. And, double bonus, the classes he didn't have with Hayner he had with Riku. The platinum-haired boy had started being very friendly to him. For the first time, Roxas considered him a true friend.

Before he knew it, the first school day was over. While he had actually enjoyed it, he was glad. Just because he had been around friends, that didn't make the whispers go away.

When Roxas stepped outside, Axel was there, just like he'd promised. He was walking with Hayner, but he abandoned him to fling his arms around the tall redhead.

"Hey, Roxy! How'd your first day go?"

"It went great! You were right; it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Thanks for making me go."

"Anytime. Now, are you going to introduce me to your friend or what?"

"Oh!" He had almost forgotten about Hayner. "Right. Sorry. Axel, this is Hayner. Hayner, Axel."

The both nodded in acknowledgement. "So, are you his…brother or something?"

Roxas rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "No, it's…a bit of a long story. I'll tell you some other time."

"Oh…okay. Guess I'll see you tomorrow then."


	15. Sweet Torture

AN: I'd like to apologize ahead of time for this chapter. For 2 reasons. 1: Because I am so off my game and it sucks. 2: Because it ends on a cliffhanger of doom. -Evil laugh- Seriously, I actually just wrote this chapter out of pure boredom, there was nothing fueling it. So, I'll probably redo it later. For now, this will have to do. Reviewers!

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz

LioraScarlette

Tagi-sama

xxlight-kitsune-chanxx

Ttwist

Adalibina

kawaiifox 1

Tomomoomo

Thanks for the reviews, love ya! Before we get this fic started, I'd like to say something. Please stop putting just 2 asterisks in the place of curse words people. Either say the damn word or put the number of asterisks equal to the number of letters in the word, okay? I'm sorry, but this had been annoying me so badly. It's not that hard, just please please do it. Preferably just write out the word.

Disclaimer: I don't own it and I'm too off to think of something witty to say.

* * *

It had been torture, this last month. Axel had been trying his hardest to tell himself that it was rebounding feelings from Demyx or something and that they would be gone soon. But the opposite had happened, much to his disdain. Ever since that kiss…

Lately, he had been starting to notice Roxas a lot more. He hid it as well as he could, but there was really only so much he could do. Especially when the little blonde actually tried to get his attention all the time. Axel was just lucky he'd started school, or his self-control would be fighting a losing battle.

Though, that still left the weekends open.

Axel woke up at about 10:00 on Saturday. He always woke up fairly early, even on weekends when he didn't have to work. He had gotten into the habit when he was younger because he used to wake up early so he could spend as much time as possible away from his various foster homes.

Anyway, he went out to the kitchen and made himself some coffee, then settled down on the couch to flip through the TV channels aimlessly. Nothing on, as usual.

"Axel…?"

Axel glanced up and nearly dropped the remote. Roxas was standing in the doorway, looking adorably sleep-rumpled. But that wasn't enough, oh no. To top it all off, he was clad in only boxers.

"Uh…g-good morning, Roxas. What are you doing up this early?"

"TV was loud," the blonde mumbled, shuffling over and sitting down next to Axel heavily.

"Sorry," he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "I'll turn it down so you can go back to sleep."

The teen nodded dumbly before curling up and laying his head on Axel's lap.

Needless to say, Axel freaked out just a bit. But he tried not to show it, tried to act like it was no big deal. He continued flicking through the channels, trying to focus on anything but the boy next to him.

He became increasingly aware, however, of wet warmth on his upper thigh. He glanced down and found that Roxas had his face buried practically in his crotch, breathing steadily. He had to be asleep, right?

Experimentally, Axel shook his shoulder. With a low groan he looked up sleepily. "Whatizit?"

"Uh…" he laughed sheepishly, "Just…making sure you were asleep."

Roxas blinked at him once, then groaned again and rolled over so he was facing the redhead's knee.

Inwardly, Axel breathed a sigh of relief. If that had continued, there may have been a very big problem.

Then the blonde shifted his head, and he had a whole new set of problems. He had to hold onto the couch to keep from jumping up at the friction. Roxas had to be asleep, right? There was no way he was doing this on purpose.

He looked down at him again and couldn't hold back a smile. He had said it before, the blonde was cute when he slept. Axel couldn't keep himself from running his fingers through the spiked hair, down his neck, over his shoulder…

The redhead quickly snatched his hand back like something had snapped at it. He shouldn't be doing that. He needed to stop thinking these things and go back to the TV.

Down on his lap, the blonde smirked. He was awake, and had been this whole time. It was all part of his master plan and all seemed to be going well. He had already proven that he could get under the redhead's skin; now all that was left was to make sure Axel knew that.

He brought one of his hands, which had been lying by his side, up near his head, gripping Axel's thigh. He felt the small jump and almost started giggling. He waited a minute before slowly massaging the skin through the thin cotton with his thumb and forefinger.

Axel clenched his eyes shut tightly. Why him? Why did he have to be put in this situation? He was sure now that the little brat was awake. The problem was, he didn't trust his voice enough to tell him to stop. But he had to. It would be a really bad idea to get a hard-on with Roxas' head right there. He opened his mouth to say the words, but at that moment the blonde squeezed so that all that came out of his mouth was a low moan.

"Knew that'd work."

Axel opened his eyes a slit to find the blonde grinning beside him. Thankfully, he had moved his hand as well.

Trying to compose himself, the redhead stood up quickly. "Uh…I'd better make breakfast…"

He quickly busied himself in the kitchen, trying to ignore his red face and his painfully tight pants. He barely noticed when Roxas came in and sat down on one of the chairs.

"So, whatcha making?"

Axel jumped. "Roxas, where the hell did you come from?"

He chuckled. "The living room. Remember? We were in there just a minute ago."

"Uh…I-I knew that…I meant…what are you doing in here?"

"Am I not allowed in the kitchen?" The blonde raised an eyebrow at him playfully.

Axel had no answer to that, so he continued to make whatever it was he was making. Hell, even he didn't know at this point.

When he turned off the stove, not even knowing if whatever he had made was done or not, he felt fingernails scratch gently down his back.

"S-stop…"

He could almost see the smirk on the blonde's face as the nails dug into his skin harder. "Why? You can't hide that you're enjoying it."

It was true, it was all too obvious that he wouldn't actually mind this continuing. If it were someone else. He had always considered Roxas almost like a little brother and to start thinking like this about him would destroy that.

"You're a teenager."

"So? You are too."

He had no response to that. Technically, he was still a teenager so it wouldn't really be illegal.

The hands moved from his back to around his waist just above the waistband of his pajama pants. He clenched his fist. _Self control, self control, self control._

But it didn't matter, because the hands removed themselves. He turned around and found the blonde sitting in one of the chairs, head in hands.

"I'm sorry," he said exasperatedly, "I don't actually know what I'm doing here, but…I had to do something to get your attention. I mean, everything else has failed."

"W-what?"

"I guess by now it's obvious the way I feel," he continued, "So, now the only question is, how do you feel?"

Axel didn't know how to answer that. Sure, he did like the little blonde. But there were so many reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea…

"It's a simple question, Axel."

"I…um…" he slid down the cabinets to the floor. "I don't…know, okay? I just don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation."

Roxas got up and crouched beside him. He had never seen Axel freak out before, and he was worried. "You don't have to know what to do. Just do what your gut tells you to do."

The redhead smiled slightly and looked up. He leaned in slightly, lips brushing Roxas'. The blonde helped out and closed the distance.


	16. Why won't you fuck me?

AN: I am so fecking tired. (That's my new word of the week, fecking. Yeah, every once in a while, fucking sounds weird in my mind so it will change to something different. I have a weird mind) Anyway, I think my Apeiraphobia is starting to catch up with me because I can't even go to the damn bathroom at night without having to make a mad dash back to my room, then trying to tell myself to calm down before I have another panic attack. Yeah...Anyway, enough ranting about that. This chapter does not start where the last chapter left off, so sorry for those expecting that. I love the poem I'm Nobody! Who are you? and have often thought of it in reference to the Nobodies of Kingdom Hearts. Oh, and I figured out that I did have the profanity filter on. Silly me. Sorry to the people I chewed out. To ze reviewers!

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz

LioraScarlette

Tagi-sama

xxlight-kitsune-chanxx

Ttwist

Adalibina

kawaiifox 1

Tomomoomo

Fallen Wind Rider

shad0wOfn0th1ng

Love ya'll! Random note: I have to draw Axel with Pocky!!!!! I must, seriously. I've been drawing Akuroku and such like crazy these past few days. I'm out of paper as it is now and I can't find my colored pencils. (Woe is me) But fear not for I shall be heading to the crafts store just as soon as my mom gets home because it's too far to walk and I can't drive. On with ficcy!

Disclaimer: (Witty disclaimer goes here. I'm too tired to actually think of one.) I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Emily Dickinson's wonderful poem.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Roxas looked up from the paper he was staring at intently into the face of Axel. He couldn't help but remember the day that he'd finally succeeded in getting Axel to kiss him. Well…the first time they were both coherent enough to really know what was going on. Either way, Axel had finally agreed to give it a chance, so as of a week ago they were officially a couple. Well, maybe officially was too strong a word. Actually, nobody else knew. And that was just fine for both of them.

"Nothing much," Roxas replied, grabbing a strawberry Pocky and sticking it in his mouth in that oh-so-adorable way, "Just working on a homework assignment. We have to give an opinion on what we think this poem means or whatever. Like I'd have any idea."

"Well, which poem is it? Maybe I can help?" Axel sat down next to him and craned his neck, trying to get a look at the paper.

"It's called 'I'm Nobody! Who are you?' You ever hear of it?"

The redhead shook his head slowly. "No, never. Why don't you read it out loud to me?"

Roxas shrugged. "Fine. Don't know if you'll have much more luck than I did, but you can try." He took the Pocky out of his mouth and cleared his throat.

_I'm nobody! Who are you?  
Are you nobody, too?  
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!  
They'd banish us, you know. _

_How dreary to be somebody!  
How public, like a frog  
To tell your name the livelong day  
To an admiring bog!_

The blonde looked up to find Axel staring at him. "Axel?" The redhead raised his eyebrows. "So, what do you think?"

"Well, uh…" the redhead drummed his fingers on the table, "I think…that I shouldn't be helping you with your homework."

"Aw, come on!" Roxas whined. "Maybe I just want to hear your opinion, what about that?"

"I seriously doubt that." Axel rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll tell you." He smirked slightly. "I think…that the speaker is trying to say that they like being unnoticed. Or, a Nobody. And this part, the next three lines in the first stanza, it's saying that the speaker doesn't want anyone to know about finding another Nobody, because then they would become a Somebody."

"Why would that be a bad thing? Isn't everyone out to become a Somebody?"

"Only true Somebodies want that you see. In the second stanza, the speaker is explaining that Somebodies always have to keep up with appearances. In effect, they work too hard. But the Nobodies, they're free to do what they want and not get caught because the Somebodies don't notice them."

Roxas stared at him. "You sure you've never seen this poem before?"

Axel chuckled and nodded. "I'm just good at this kind of stuff. You gonna share that?"

The blonde slid the box of Pocky over to the redhead and watched as he took one out and bit into it vigorously until it was gone, causing him to chuckle. "You're not supposed to eat it like that, idiot. You're supposed to savor it." He smirked and stared down at the poem again. Huh…Nobodies…

"Something wrong there, Roxy?"

Roxas shook his head. "Nah, I was just thinking. About what you said, the Nobodies…I think that's us."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, both of us are pretty much the lonely type, right? And…well, that part about finding another Nobody…" He glanced up at the redhead, who was smiling.

"Ya know," he said, grabbing another Pocky, "I think you're right."

Roxas smirked. "Pocky's best when it's shared, Aku."

"Well, you'd better hurry before it's all gone, then shouldn't you?" Teasingly, Axel took a small bite out of the Pocky.

Never taking his eyes off the strawberry-coated treat, Roxas stood up and walked around the table to Axel's chair. He straddled the redhead's hips and wrapped his arms around his neck before leaning in and covering the Pocky with his mouth.

They had never actually gone very far. A bit of making out, some groping on Roxas' part. But nothing more. Axel said that he wanted to take it slow so Roxas wouldn't get overwhelmed. The truth of the matter was simply that the blonde didn't want to take things slow. And today, he was going to speed things up a little.

He moaned intentionally into the redhead's mouth, adding tongue into the mix. He slid his hands under the purple tank that Axel had chosen for that day. He had almost gotten it off when…

"What are you doing, Roxy?"

Roxas growled in frustration. Every single time he tried to go to the next level, Axel stopped. "What the hell do you think I'm doing? I'm TRYING to have sex with my boyfriend."

Axel sighed and ruffled his hair. "You know what I said before. You're too young still. You're not ready for it."

"Who says I'm not ready?" The blonde glared at him. "I think I'm plenty ready. Besides, it's my body. Who are _you_ to say when _I'm_ not ready, huh?"

"Ah geez. Roxy…"

"Don't 'Roxy' me. What is it, huh? You said you liked me, why don't you want to have sex with me?"

"I already told you…"

"But that's not the only reason, is it?"

Axel blinked. He had said it before, the kid was sharp. But telling him the truth might not be such a great idea.

"Is it…is it because you still love Demyx?"

Damn him. Being smart would get him hurt one day. But the truth had already been exposed, so the redhead could do nothing but nod.

"I knew it…" the blonde sighed. He climbed off of Axel's lap. "I think I'm gonna go take a nap."

Every time. Every single time he tried to do a little good, he ended up making things worse. He must be cursed or something, to have this much bad luck. Sighing, Axel stood up, running his fingers through his hair exasperatedly. Actually, a nap sounded pretty good.

A few hours later, Roxas snuck out of his room and looked around. Axel was gone. That meant he had probably gone to sleep. Good. Sneaking quietly over to the door to Axel's room, Roxas opened it slightly. "Axel?"

No answer. Probably asleep.

He tiptoed over to the lump on the bed and was treated to a view of Axel's face. He stared for a few minutes before climbing in and straddling the redhead's waist. Axel, being a light sleeper, blinked sleepily at him.

"Roxas? What are you…?"

"Shhh…" Roxas silenced him with a searing kiss.

Axel, still half asleep, kissed back. Roxas had him down to his boxers before he woke up completely.

"Whoa, whoa! Roxas…!"

"What!? Did I interrupt some dream you were having of Demyx?!" His eyes quivered with rage. "This is the only way I can actually get you to do something!"

"I-I just…Roxy, that's not the best way to go about it…"

"Fuck you! Axel, you're supposed to WANT to do this with me. You're not supposed to push me away all the time and treat me like some little kid!" He scrunched up his face, trying to keep the tears from falling. "Dammit, I am ready for it…so, why?"

Axel sighed. "Roxas…you may be ready but…I'm not. Look, I well and truly loved Demyx. That's not something I'm going to get over so easily." He stroked the younger boy's cheek gently. "You just…have to be patient, okay?"

Roxas thought about protesting. He could have, actually. But he was tired and didn't want to fight. Instead, he buried his face in the crook of Axel's neck.

"Fine," he mumbled, "I'll be patient. But just remember: You promised it would happen. So don't go ditching me or anything like that. Got it?"

Axel smirked and stroked the younger boy's hair. "Of course."


	17. You could be him

AN: Hey! Sorry I took so long to update. Wow, it's been almost a week now. Don't look at me like that, that's a long time for me. Anyway, I have written a one-shot in the time I wasn't working on this (sorry) and I would really appreciate if you guys would check it out and review on it. It's AxelxSora. Anyway, this chapter is a little weird. And I'm sure there are going to be outraged people because of the HaynerxSeifer. Well, the sad sad truth of it is that I'm not going to write about them. This isn't a HaynerxSeifer fic, people. BUT, I will do a spinoff one-shot about them. When? No idea. And Riku gets a little deranged in this chapter. I like deranged Riku. Uh...let's see, what else? Oh yeah, I've decided on a theme song for the story. (No thanks to any of the reviewers) It's Must Have Done Something Right by Relient K. Yes, I love that song and not until recently did I really realize how PERFECT it is for this fic. Reviewers in the sky with diamonds!! (Yes, I am crazy)

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz

LioraScarlette

Tagi-sama

xxlight-kitsune-chanxx

Ttwist

Adalibina

kawaiifox 1

Tomomoomo

Fallen Wind Rider

shad0wOfn0th1ng

Hikari Aiyano

I am in such a good mood and I love you all!!!! XD I recently finished reading Harry Potter 7 and all I had to do was sacrifice sleep! Seriously, I finished it at 5:30 this morning and I was so excited that it took me until 6:30 or so to get to sleep. I know that the sun was up by the time I did finally manage to fall asleep. Yeah, but it was so worth it. Now I can gloat to my friends, who are still in the middle of the books. (That means you, GB :p) So, without further adieu, I now present this chapter.

Disclaimer: Who needs Kingdom Hearts when you control the Orange Leprechauns? That's right, you know you're jealous of my evil-Leprechaun-controlling powers.

* * *

It was about 8:00 in the morning, after Roxas had left for school, when it happened. The phone rang.

Axel, who had woken up to see the little blonde off, picked up on the second ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, Axel!"

"Demyx!" Axel grinned to himself. He hadn't heard from Demyx in weeks. Just because he was in a relationship now didn't mean he didn't still love Demyx, and he did like hearing from him every once in a while.

"Yeah, sorry I haven't called lately. I've been…busy."

"Oh, that's alright," the redhead said, still smiling. "So, what's up?"

"Uhm…nothing much…"

Axel could sense the note of hesitation in his friend's voice. "Demyx, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing, I just…well, I called to tell you something and now I can't get it out." There was a pause. "Axel, we'll always be best friends, right?"

"What? Of course we will, Dem."

"Good." There was a small sigh of relief. "And…what happened before I left…what did that mean to you?"

The redhead was taken aback. He had never actually viewed it before as anything other than a request from his best friend. But that couldn't be true because if he really hadn't wanted to, he wouldn't have. So what, then, was it? Leave it to Demyx to ask the most complicated questions.

"Axel?" He had been quiet for a while.

"Oh, uhm…I don't know, why?"

There was another sigh, this time of resignation. "It, uhm, it didn't mean much, did it?"

"No, no, that's not it…"

"I'm seeing someone."

"W-what?" He knew he shouldn't be jealous, knew he should be happy for his friend, but he couldn't help the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Who?"

"His name is Xaldin," Demyx said quietly, "I thought I should probably tell you, you know…keep you informed and such."

"Oh…" Axel bit his bottom lip absent-mindedly.

"So, uhm…I guess unless you want to tell me something, there's nothing else to say, is there?"

Axel hesitated. He could tell Demyx all about Roxas, how they were together now, and maybe he would hear that satisfying hitch in the other's breath, betraying the jealousy and remorse.

"Axel?" He had fallen silent again. This time he didn't answer, he could feel the tension between them. Eventually, he heard a click and the inevitable dial-tone.

The redhead hung up and set the phone down on the table beside him. It was hard to accept, true, that Demyx had moved on. But if he was honest with himself, he didn't really expect for Demyx to pine for him, did he? No. And neither was he.

Homeroom. That delightful 10 minutes at the beginning of the day where Roxas was free to talk with his friends. Today, Riku was running a little late, so it was just him and Hayner at the moment. Or, it would be if Hayner would stop staring at Seifer.

"Hayner!"

Hayner snapped to attention. "What?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "You know perfectly well 'what'. Can you please pay attention while I'm trying to talk?"

"Sorry, I just…" he shot a wistful glance at Seifer, who seemed to be deep in conversation with someone at another table, "You reckon I should make the first move?"

Roxas shrugged. "I don't know. I guess if you really like him and he hasn't done anything yet…"

"Yeah, you're right." A dreamy look crossed his face and he was back to staring again. Roxas shook his head in exasperation and nearly cried out in joy when Riku walked in. "Hey, Riku. Thank god you're here; I can't hold a decent conversation with the drooling monkey. How come you're so late?"

"Alarm didn't go off," Riku said, shrugging as if it were no big thing and sliding into his seat gracefully. "So, what about a drooling monkey?"

Roxas chuckled and jerked his thumb over at Hayner, who looked the human equivalent of a starving puppy.

"Huh, I see what you mean." He laughed. "Hey, you guys wanna come over to my place after school? My mom doesn't get home until late and I just got a new game."

The blonde thought about it. He had never actually gone over to Riku's before and, as far as he knew, he had nothing to do after school. "Alright," he said, nodding, "But I'll need to borrow your phone after school so I can call Axel and tell him where I'm going."

"No prob. What about you, Hayner?"

The darker blonde turned his head dazedly. "Hmm?"

"You wanna come over after school?"

Hayner stared at him for a few seconds before nodding absent-mindedly and going back to his obsessive staring.

When the bell rang, Hayner blinked and looked around like he had never heard it before. He stood up slowly, noticing that Riku and Roxas, shaking their heads amusedly, were leaving without him. No matter, he would see them in first period.

As he walked past the doorway, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him off to the side, out of the torrent of students moving both ways.

Hayner blinked as he found himself looking straight into sharp cerulean eyes. "You've been watching me," a low voice said softly. It wasn't a question.

The dark blonde didn't answer, just dropped his gaze, blushing furiously. He felt, rather than heard, a low chuckle. "It's alright, ya know."

Hayner looked up and found a smirk planted on the thug's face. "Meet me after school near the old church." With that, he left, leaving a stunned Hayner against the wall.

"Where has that boy gone?" Riku said in mock annoyance, "The bell's gonna ring any minute now."

Almost as if on cue, the bell started ringing. Hayner managed to stumble in, red-faced and panting, right before it stopped. He looked up sheepishly as the teacher stared down at him, an eyebrow raised amusedly. "S-sorry, Mr. Strife," he mumbled, moving quickly to his seat right behind Roxas. The blonde man shook his head and started class.

"Hey, Hayner," Roxas whispered back, "How come you're so late?"

Hayner opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again. There was no reason for him to tell his friends about what had happened. Instead he leaned over to Riku, who sat to his right. "I, uh…can't come over. I forgot I have something else to do."

Riku nodded but didn't try to hide his disappointment.

The day went by excruciatingly slowly for Hayner, but for Riku and Roxas it seemed to just zip by. When the day ended, Hayner seemed to just disappear. But he'd said he wasn't coming over so they didn't look too hard for him. Roxas borrowed Riku's phone when they went out to the school garden to get away from the noise.

"Hey, Axel. I'm gonna be going over to Riku's, okay? What? No, Riku. You've met him. Platinum hair, kinda tall. Yes, he's one of my friends. Don't worry, I'll be back by 5:00. Yes. Uh-huh. Okay. Bye." He hung up and handed the phone to Riku. "Lead the way."

Riku, it turned out, had gotten a new racing game. Everyone knows that racing games are no fun alone. They sat on the floor side by side, concentrating on the controllers, cans of soda by their sides.

"I am so beating you!" The blonde laughed as his car passed Riku's.

"Oh yeah?" Riku pushed a few button in succession and suddenly a torpedo came from his car, destroying Roxas'.

Roxas stared at the screen. "No fair! You used some kind of code!"

"All's fair in love and war," the platinum haired boy said, sticking out his tongue playfully as he was declared the winner.

The blonde pouted. "I'm not gonna play if you're going to cheat."

"Aw, don't be like that," Riku said, ruffling his blonde locks in the same infuriating way as Axel did.

"I mean it. Stop using cheat codes or I'm leaving."

"Come on, please don't leave Sora."

Roxas' gaze snapped over to the platinum haired boy, who had his hands clapped over his mouth, a light blush tinting his cheeks.

"I…I'm sorry, I…"

"Did…you just call me Sora?"

"Roxas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, it just kinda slipped out…"

The blonde stood up dazedly. A few people had, a long time ago, once called him Sora. But nobody had ever called him by his brother's name since his death.

"W-wait," said Riku, grabbing him by the wrist to stop him from going. Caught off-balance, he fell back onto Riku's chest, his head falling and hitting the latter's chin. Riku wrapped his arms around him to keep him from leaving. "You could be his double, you know," the platinum haired boy mumbled, "Except for that blonde hair. Your expressions are the same; you have the same eyes, the same scent…" he tilted the blonde's head back to examine Roxas' face, "I wonder…"

Without warning, he dipped his head down and kissed the blonde full on the mouth. Through the slackened jaws, he was able to sweep his tongue through the wet cavern before pulling away. "You even taste the same," he whispered against Roxas' cheek.

Roxas was, for all intents and purposes, in shock. He barely even realized what was going on, so he couldn't push Riku away. It wasn't until the platinum haired boy started to bite his neck that he broke away and stood up. Riku's arms provided little resistance.

Roxas gazed with pity at his friend, curled up pathetically on the floor. He kneeled in front of him. "I can't be Sora, Riku."

"But don't you see? You can. You're the only one who can, you could replace him. You're just like him…"

Riku leaned forward to kiss him again, but Roxas pushed him away. "Look, I know okay? I know it's hard for you to deal with the fact that he's gone. But that's just it, he's gone. And nothing can ever bring him back. For me to impersonate him would be a lie."

Riku had his knees drawn up to his chest. "What if I don't care?"

Roxas stood up again. "I'll see you at school tomorrow." He walked towards the door and this time Riku did nothing to stop him.


	18. Alcohol?

AN: Don't you just love it when you have an idea for a chapter and you sit down to write it and your fingers write a whole different thing that turns out better than what you had in mind? Well, that's what happened to me on this chapter. And I have to say, it turned out really good. Okay, maybe I'm pushing the angst factor just a little too far but I'm sorry the fingers made me do it!! Anywhos, two people have already seen part of this before I finished because I started writing this at my sister's house and had to post it on my forum so I could sontinue writing it. Though I had an infuriating half-hour of trying to format it because it was being idiotic. Reviewers!

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz

LioraScarlette

Tagi-sama

xxlight-kitsune-chanxx

Ttwist

Adalibina

kawaiifox 1

Tomomoomo

Fallen Wind Rider

shad0wOfn0th1ng

Hikari Aiyano

KristinLeann-Sorry, missed you last time. With so many reviews it's hard to keep track.

Hieisomething

Losttkidd

Tomiko90

Immortal fisheh

SonyxXxSonia

roxas stalking artist

Roxas desu

dark and light heart

I love you all! Okay, I've decided on something. Once I'm done with this, I'm going to write a sequel. Then, or maybe at the same time, I'm also going to write a prequel telling about Riku and Sora. Plus, the spinoff for Hayner and Seifer who are not in this chapter. And I might do a spinoff for Demyx but I'm not quite sure yet. So what do you guys think? Too much? I'll probably write them anyway, I just want to know your opinions on it.

On a completely unrelated note, I updated my myspace after watching the entire Elfen Lied series. It is the greatest anime in the world, I don't care what any of you say. If you haven't seen it, for the sake of all that is good, see it!! Anyway, I redid it all in Elfen Lied and renamed myself Cruor, which is Latin for Blood. I'd appreciate it if you guys would check it out. Just do the regular myspace thing and type in shaehime as keyword. Just like that.

What else? Oh, yeah. Alicia, if you get this far in the story, I just want to say I'm sorry for not tell you it was a yaoi fic. Please don't kill me! -Runs away-

Alright, I think that's enough noting, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: I own Kingdom Hearts, just not the part you get paid for

* * *

Roxas opened the door to the apartment quietly and looked around. Axel was nowhere to be seen. That was strange, he had just talked to him not even an hour ago, where could he be?  
"Axel!" He called, just in case he was in his room. He opened the door and found it empty. So he definitely wasn't here. Where was he?  
The blonde sighed and sat down on the couch, flipping on the TV to some random channel. Tomorrow was Friday, but he couldn't bring himself to be happy about it. His mind was too full with what had happened with Riku. Was it alright to just leave him alone like that? After all, the platinum-haired boy was his friend. And while Roxas may not have agreed with his actions, or even wanted them, friends were supposed to be there for each other. Right?  
He groaned in frustration. He didn't know what he should do in this situation. Why wasn't Axel here to help him out of this? Oh, if only the redhead had a cell phone.  
He waited on the couch for most of the night, and still Axel didn't come home. Roxas glanced up at the clock nervously every few seconds. Where could he have gone to make him stay away so long without even so much as a call? Didn't he have any consideration? Just as Roxas was about to go out and look for him, the door opened and the pyro himself walked in.  
"Where the hell have you…?" He stopped short as he took in Axel's appearance. He looked a mess. His eyes were out of focus, his hair was sticking up at odd angles and caked with mud, his shirt was torn, and he had faint but unmistakable bruises disappearing into his hairline and under his shirt.  
"Axel…?" The redhead looked up at him, gave a weak half-smile, and toppled forward onto the ground.  
"Axel!" Roxas was at his side in seconds. Placing a hand on Axel's back, he found his heartbeat to be erratic and his breathing strained. What the hell had happened to him?  
"Geez, Axel…" The blonde flipped him over and rested his boyfriend's head on his lap. The redhead's eyes were half-lidded and didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular. They had lost their glow and looked more like stones than actual eyes. He was a real mess, and Roxas didn't know what he should do. Hell, he didn't even know what was wrong.  
"Axel…" The blonde shook him. "Axel?" Nothing. He wasn't responding at all. "Oh, shit, oh shit." Roxas set the redhead down on the floor gently and went to the kitchen. He picked up the phone and dialed 911.  
"911, what's your emergency?"  
"It's my…roommate," Roxas said. Even though he was worried, he still remembered to refer to Axel as his roommate. "He came home and collapsed and he looked really bad. I can't wake him up and his heartbeat and breathing are uneven." Roxas clutched at his hair, spiraling into hysterics. "I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I think he's really hurt."  
"Okay, okay," The woman on the other end said soothingly, "Give me your address and I'll send an ambulance over right away. Don't worry."  
Roxas took a deep breath and told her the address of Axel's apartment. Once she had hung up, saying an ambulance would be there in 5 minutes, he went back into the living room. Axel was in the same spot the blonde had left him in. He looked, if possible, worse than he had before. Roxas sat down beside him again and rested the pyro's head on his legs, stroking his hair soothingly. When he touched his cheek he found it heart-stoppingly cold. _Please_, he willed, _Just hold on a little longer._

When they finally did, they had to practically pry Roxas from Axel to get him into the ambulance. The blonde was devastated to find out that he couldn't ride with them and would either have to find a ride or walk. As he watched them load the redhead up and drive away, he felt tears begin to prickle at his eyes. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He hung back for a few seconds before finally running towards the hospital.

Roxas had been told to wait in the waiting room. Apparently, they needed to stabilize Axel and couldn't have anyone in the way. As long as they fixed him, the blonde was happy to oblige.

But it was torture, not knowing what was going on. Or even whether or not Axel was going to survive.

Finally, a doctor came to speak to him. "Are you related to Axel Nageshi?"

Roxas stood up. "Uhm, no I'm not. I'm his roommate. He doesn't have any family that he knows of." The blonde stared at the doctor pleadingly. "He's going to be okay, isn't he?"

The doctor sighed. "Well, he's stabilized but only just. He had a very high amount of alcohol in his bloodstream. How he even made it back to your apartment I'll never know."

"Alcohol? You mean he'd been drinking? That's impossible, I talked to him right before I got home and he seemed fine." Besides, he said to himself, Axel was under the legal age.

"My guess is that he left after you talked to him. Anyway, he's unconscious but you can go see him if you want."

The doctor led Roxas to Axel's room and left. The blonde looked in tentatively and found the redhead in bed, needles sticking out of his arm and hooked up to life-support. He looked more of a mess than back at the apartment. His skin was sallow and yellowish. He looked decades older than he was. And when Roxas touched his hand, he still found him to be as cold as he was before.

Pulling a chair up beside the bed, Roxas laid his head down and stroked the redhead's hand almost absent-mindedly. He wasn't going to leave Axel's side until he was up and moving again. And he would be. Right?

The blonde ended up falling asleep there. Next thing he knew, Axel's doctor was shaking him awake. "You can't stay here, son." He said softly. "You're going to have to leave."

Roxas blinked sleepily before the doctor's words really hit him. He clutched Axel's hand tightly. "I can't leave," he said pleadingly. "What if he wakes up?"

"You can come back tomorrow…"

"That's not the point!" Roxas was on the verge of hysterics again. "He needs me. I need to be here for him. If I'm not here when he wakes up…" The blonde didn't know what to say to make the doctor understand just why he had to stay by Axel's side. He stood up and swayed, almost falling over. The doctor reached out a hand and steadied him.

"You're tired," he said kindly. "Go home and get some rest. We'll call if he wakes up."

Roxas wanted to argue more, but he couldn't deny that he was, indeed, tired. So he left without a fuss, back home to the apartment that was now completely void of the presence of the redhead whom he shared it with. He stumbled off to his room and, even though he didn't think he would fall asleep, was out in minutes.

The blonde started to fall into a routine. Every day he would go to school like normal and afterwards he would stop by the hospital to visit Axel until they made him go home. At school he would often see Riku, but the platinum-haired boy would avoid him. It was just as well. Roxas didn't want to face this until he could talk to Axel about it, and at the rate it was going he wouldn't be able to do that anytime soon. The doctors had officially declared him comatose and said it could take a while for him to wake up.

One day, about two weeks after Axel had been hospitalized, Roxas had to stay behind for an extra half hour to receive tutoring from his math teacher. When he finally left, there weren't many people left outside so he was able to see a blonde girl sitting on the bench, drawing. He recognized her, it was Namine. She was the girl he'd had a crush on before, the one he'd wanted to go see while driving. He could have easily blamed her, since everyone else blamed him and it would have been nice to blame someone. But she was too sweet to blame anything on and besides it wasn't her fault.

"Hi," he said, sitting down next to her. She looked up at him, startled. She was sketching the trees surrounding the school. They were really good, though that didn't come as any surprise. Everyone knew that Namine was the best artist in school.

"Oh, hello," she said, smiling. "You're Roxas, aren't you?"

He nodded. "And you're Namine. Now that the introductions are out of the way…" he chuckled. "Sorry if I disturbed you."

"It's alright," she said, closing her sketchbook. "Normally people don't talk to me, it's nice that you would."

Roxas nodded. "Well, I had to stay late and I saw you over here, so I thought I'd come and say hi."

She nodded again. "How long has it been since we've talked to each other?"

"Uh…about 7 months."

She frowned. "You kept track?"

"Huh? Oh, no, it's just that the last time we spoke was about 2 days before my brother died." He laughed somewhat sheepishly.

"Oh, right. The accident." She laid a hand on his. "I'm sorry for your loss," she said sincerely. "I never knew Sora, so I didn't come to his funeral, but I am sorry that you and your family had to go through that."

"It's-it's fine, really." He pulled his hand away. "Well, it was nice talking to you. I have to be somewhere."

"Wait." She grabbed his sleeve as he stood up. "I'm sorry if I offended you. Please don't leave."

"Oh, no, it's not that. I really do need to be somewhere. You could…come if you wanted. I mean, if you're not busy."

Namine smiled softly. "I'd like that. I don't have anything else to do today."

"Well, come on then." Namine stood up and followed him to the hospital. Once inside, Roxas walked with confidence to Axel's room. He had been there often enough to know how to get there without asking for help. When he went inside, Axel was the same as always. But instead of feeling sad, Roxas still felt elated.

"Hey, Axel." He said, sitting down on the edge of the redhead's bed and brushing some red locks of hair off of his face. "How are you doing? Any better today?" He paused as if waiting for Axel to say something. After a few seconds, he smiled. "That's good. You should be out of here in no time, Ax."

Namine stood back, slightly uncomfortable. This was obviously someone important to Roxas and she felt like she shouldn't be here.

"I've got someone I'd like you to meet, Axel," Roxas said cheerfully. "Axel, meet Namine. Namine, this is Axel. He's my roommate."

Namine gave a slight wave, even though it was obvious Axel couldn't see her. "Uhm…I really think I should go, Roxas."

"Oh…okay. I'll walk you home if you want."

She smiled. "Alright, that would be nice."

"Could I have a minute alone with Axel, please? Wait in the waiting room, I'll be right out."

"Alright," she said, heading out the door.

Once she was gone, Roxas looked over at the redhead. Luckily, he didn't need oxygen anymore so the breathing tube was gone. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Axel's lips. He wasn't cold anymore, which was a relief, but he was still unresponsive. The blond sighed. "I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" As usual, no response, but in Roxas' mind, he was nodding. The blonde squeezed his hand slightly, and then left to walk Namine home.

* * *

AN: Always watch your alcohol intake, people. 


	19. Love me, leave me

AN: Well, let me first start out by saying I'M SORRY!!!!! -Hides under rock- I know everyone wanted Demyx out of the picture and for Axel to finally love Roxas and only Roxas. But I'm w-e-e-e-e-a-a-k. I needed to stretch the love triangle as far as I possibly could. And in this one, I think it's actually pretty well done. But Demyx is kind of an ass in this one. Kinda gotta feel sorry for Xaldin here. Reviewers!

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz

LioraScarlette

Tagi-sama

xxlight-kitsune-chanxx

Ttwist

Adalibina

kawaiifox 1

Tomomoomo

Fallen Wind Rider

shad0wOfn0th1ng

Hikari Aiyano

KristinLeann-Sorry, missed you last time. With so many reviews it's hard to keep track.

Hieisomething

Losttkidd

Tomiko90

Immortal fisheh

SonyxXxSonia

roxas stalking artist

Roxas desu

dark and light heart

keybladeninja

shadowtailmon

Love you all so much! But I can't hug you all at once because my arms are sadly not noodles. Okay, I'm gonna point out a few things. Don't worry, none of the characters in this story are going to die except for Sora and he's already dead so it doesn't matter. Least of all Axel, one of the main characters. And, for the record, people who didn't understand: Axel didn't just get super-drunk, he had alcohol poisoning. That can leave you comatose for a varied amount of time.

On an unrelated note, I watched the greatest movie a few nights ago. It was called Cruel Intentions. I'm not gonna go into it, search for it on wikipedia if you want to know what it's about. But I watched it twice and I'm still not bored of it. It's quite possibly the greatest movie ever. Uh...let's see what else? Oh yeah. The spatula makes a comeback!! XD It's really early in the chapter, but it's hilarious. Okay, I'm done rambling.

Disclaimer: -Looks sneakily from side to side- Yes, I finally have it! Kingdom Hearts is mine!! -Looks closer- Aw damn, it's fake. Some day...some day...

* * *

It was a little depressing, walking around the apartment when it was so empty. That's why Roxas spent all his time with Namine. She took pity on him and brought him home to eat more often than not. After all, he didn't have any money.

He really enjoyed hanging out with Namine. She was a sweet person. That was one of the reasons he'd had a crush on her before.

"Well," he said, glancing at the clock. It was almost 11:00. "I think I should probably get out of here. Gotta sleep. School tomorrow, you know." He sighed. In truth, he really didn't want to go back there. In his mind, he begged for Namine to ask him to sleep over. But, like always, she just nodded and walked him to the door.

"Bye, Roxas," she said, smiling softly. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He nodded and stepped out into the night. It was autumn, so it was fairly cold. He pulled his jacket closer around him to hold in the body warmth. It had been nearly three weeks since Axel had stumbled in and still he hadn't woken up. The blonde didn't understand. Had Axel really been that bad off? And what had possessed him to drink that much anyway?

Everyone had been so worried about the redhead. All of his coworkers had visited him in the hospital. Everyone who knew Roxas told him that Axel was a fighter and would be out of there in no time. Did no time include days that felt like an eternity?

Demyx had called about a week ago, and Roxas had had no choice but to inform him of what had happened. Demyx had been silent for a long time, then he had mumbled something unintelligible and hung up. The blonde hadn't heard from him since.

Roxas finally reached the apartment. With nearly numb hands, he pulled out the key and stuck it hurriedly into the lock. He rushed in and shut the door, reveling in the warmth. It was a few minutes before he realized the light in the living room was on.

The blonde frowned. Who could be here, and at this late hour? After grabbing a spatula to protect himself in case it was burglars, he pushed the swinging door open inch by inch. He caught sight of a mop of blonde hair. The person was laying on the couch. Raising the spatula high above his head, he rushed in.

The person let out a yell and fell to the ground. "Roxas, it's me!"

Roxas froze. Taking a close look at the intruder, he found it to be none other than Demyx.

"Demyx? How did you get inside?" More important, what the hell was he doing here?

The taller blonde rubbed his head. "I still have a key to the apartment. Axel gave me one a long time ago." He grinned up at the still-standing teenager. "Took you long enough to get home ya know."

Roxas blinked. "Just how long have you been here?"

"Since about…noon today."

The younger blonde groaned. "You've been here that long?" He turned back into the kitchen, simply for the purpose of getting away from Demyx.

"Yeah. Is something wrong?" Demyx followed him, unfortunately.

Roxas opened the fridge and pretended to peer inside. However, he was painfully aware of the eyes on his back. When he couldn't take it anymore, he glanced back to find the older blonde sitting at the kitchen table.

"How long are you planning on staying here?" Roxas growled, finally closing the fridge and sitting down opposite.

"Until Axel gets better," Demyx said cheerily.

The younger blonde was silent a moment. He leaned forward and spoke in a low voice, "I have to be nice to you when Axel is around, but he's not. He's in a coma. And the only thing you being here will do is annoy me. You're not welcome here. Go home."

Despite the harsh words, Demyx stood firm. "I love him, Roxas, and I'm staying here until he wakes up so I can make sure he's okay."

"You just…" Roxas gripped his hair in frustration. "You ruin everything. Why do you cling to him so much? It's pretty obvious he doesn't want you or maybe he would have gone with you."

"The only reason he didn't come," Demyx scowled, "Is because of you. If you had never come into the picture, we could be living together and happy."

"Then maybe you should have made your move before he decided to save my life," the younger blonde said in a low voice, glaring at the older.

Demyx opened his mouth to retaliate, but, after a moment, closed it. "You're right, I should have done something earlier. But...have you ever been in love? It's not as easy as just saying it."

"Maybe it's not. And maybe you had your reasons. But the fact of the matter is that you left here. And he did love you. You broke him, Demyx."

"I know…" The older blonde cleared his throat. "But…I've come back to make it right again. Maybe we can just pick up where we left off and…"

"Well, maybe he doesn't want you anymore!" Roxas snapped, standing up. Demyx blinked at him.

"Roxas? What are you…?"

Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Almost angrily, the younger blonde picked it up. "Hello?"

He was silent for a few minutes. Gradually, the look on his face changed from anger to astonishment. Then of astonishment to joy. "O-okay, thank you. I'll be right there."

He hung up. "Axel is waking up!" He said in answer to Demyx's questioning look. "Come on, we need to get over to the hospital!"

They took Demyx's rental car and were at the hospital in about five minutes. Roxas jumped out first and raced towards the door like a kid at a toy shop.

When Demyx finally caught up with him, the younger blonde was talking to Axel's doctor.

"…he needs to rest, I can't have you going in there and disturbing him. Please, come back tomorrow…"

"Fuck you! You can't just keep me from seeing him! I have been waiting 3 weeks for him to wake up; I'm not going to wait another second!" Roxas tried to push past the doctor, but he gripped him tightly by the arm.

"I'm sorry," he said calmly, "But you can't go in."

"What's going on here?" Demyx said.

"Oh! Hello, sir, do you know this child?"

"Yes…what's the trouble?"

"I told him to come back tomorrow. Mr. Nageshi is simply not ready for any visitors right now."

"Oh? Did he say he wasn't ready for visitors?"

The doctor looked away sheepishly. "No, but it's late and he's tired…"

"Did he say he was tired?"

"…No…"

Demyx fixed the doctor with a cold stare. "If you were just going to keep us from seeing him, why did you call us tonight?"

"Well, we didn't know you would come right now…"

"And why not? Do you doubt that we care for him enough to come make sure he's okay the second we know he's awake?"

"No, not at all…"

"Then maybe you should let two such devoted friends see with their own eyes that he's okay."

"I can't, he's not ready…"

"I think that's for him to decide, isn't it?"

The doctor paused, conflicted, before sighing in resignation. "You have twenty minutes."

The older blonde grinned and tugged Roxas out of the doctor's grasp, pulling him along into Axel's room.

When they went inside, at first it looked like nothing had changed. The machines were still the same, and Axel had his eyes closed like he did before. Except this time, when Roxas sat on the bed, they fluttered open.

"Hey, Roxas," he said, smiling slightly. He caught sight of Demyx behind him and his eyes widened.

"Hi, Axel," Demyx said, waving sheepishly.

Roxas looked between them as they just stared at each other and decided to break the tension. "I knew you would wake up soon," the young blonde said, his voice forcing the redhead to look his way, "I visited you every day."

"Oh, yeah?" Axel smiled again.

"Yeah." Roxas leaned down and kissed the redhead on the lips, laying his hand on Axel's slightly cool one.

When Roxas pulled away, Axel glanced toward Demyx, who had a shocked look on his face. "Hey Roxas, I'm kinda thirsty. You mind going to get me some water?"

Roxas glanced toward Demyx as well and nodded. "You bet." He jumped off the bed. "I'll be right back."

As he went out the door, Demyx took his previous place on the bed. "So, how long has this been going on?" He said in a low voice.

"A little while now," Axel said, "I would have told you, but I didn't wanna rub it in your face or anything."

Demyx winced at the edge to the redhead's voice. "I…I'm sorry about that."

There was silence for a moment, but then Demyx said, "So, what happened? To get you in here, I mean."

Axel shrugged minutely. "Alcohol poisoning. I was depressed and went to a bar. Makes for a bad combination."

Demyx fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "Is it because…?"

"Yeah…"

"I never wanted to hurt you," Demyx mumbled, "I just wanted you to see that I had moved on."

"Well, I saw it," Axel sighed, "Maybe not in the way you planned, but I saw. And…now you see that I've moved on too."

"I don't buy that."

"Huh?" The redhead stared at the older blonde incredulously. "What do you mean?"

"You still love me. I know it." Demyx leaned closer. "And more importantly, you know it."

Axel frowned. "Whether that's true or not, the fact of the matter is that you made your choice. Now I'm making mine."

"What, you mean _Roxas_?" Demyx practically spat his name out. "What do you see in him? If you ditched him we could be together."

"What about your boyfriend?" Axel said coldly.

"Xaldin means nothing to me!" Demyx leaned closer so that his lips were brushing Axel's. "Not like you do…" And then he was kissing the redhead, and as much as Axel dearly wanted to push him away, to tell him to leave, he just couldn't make himself do it. Instead, he wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck and moaned as he swept the inside of his mouth with his velvety tongue. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed this.

Just when they started getting lost in the kiss, a fairly loud sob brought them back to reality. Roxas was standing in the doorway, his blue eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Before either of the two could say anything, the young blonde turned on his heel and ran out.


	20. It's never too late to say you love me

AN: I'm so sorry I took so long. Writer's block got to me. And on a cliffhanger too, that must have been a real bummer. Anyway, here it is now and it's LONGER!!! XD So I hope you guys are happy with that. It's almost twice as long as usual and that's because it's the second-to-last chapter. Yep, next will be the epilogue and then it's bye-bye. But do not fear. I am starting a new story called Decietful Intentions. Everyone who hasn't seen it already, go read it. It's only one chapter so far, but it'll get there. And there's always the prequel and the spinoff to look forward to. But, bad news, I'm not gonna do a sequel. I don't have enough ideas to do one so it's just gonna end at this. Sorry. Reviewers!!

chunkymonkey613

FellowWithTheNeedle

Riku-Stalker

WishingYouWereHere

the masochist and the sadist

Silver Tears 11

hermione494

Sora Keyblader

Tsuzuki Misaki

sanestinsanepersonever

KayChan4U

Terranei Parker

3-2-1xGLOMP

Aly the Trickster

Darkest Soul of Sadness

Shetan Teh Bandit

Yami Dragoness of Dark

TheOptimisticPessimist

weary seer

Moons Calamity

Kageshi

Ferix88

OneKnux

Adalibina

Possumz

Piivi

Raidoni

MangaGirl427

GROTESQUEpanda

The Mishaness

absenceOfPersonality

artspaz

LioraScarlette

Tagi-sama

xxlight-kitsune-chanxx

Ttwist

Adalibina

kawaiifox 1

Tomomoomo

Fallen Wind Rider

shad0wOfn0th1ng

Hikari Aiyano

KristinLeann

Hieisomething

Losttkidd

Tomiko90

Immortal fisheh

SonyxXxSonia

roxas stalking artist

Roxas desu

dark and light heart

keybladeninja

shadowtailmon

Piivi

Tene

JaimeyKay

You all make my day that much brighter. I love you!! -Glomp- By the way, this is a bit of a cliffhanger too, but not as bad as the other one. Next chapter will be lemon, so that may take even longer than this one did. Writing lemon makes me nervous because I don't do it often. But I need to in this one. Oh, also, Sora is in the next chapter. HOW, you may ask? Well, you're just going to have to find out now won't you? XD Alright, I've babbled long enough. On with the fic.

Disclaimer: There's no time for me to tell them something I've told them a million times already, just go!!

* * *

"Roxas…" Axel croaked, struggling to sit up. Demyx pushed him back gently.

"You're in no condition," the blonde said in a low voice. "He'll be fine. There's no use hurting yourself for no reason."

"No reason!? Demyx, if I don't go after him…" Axel clutched at his chest, out of breath as if he's just been running. "I need to know he's okay. I won't be able to stand it if something happened to him."

"Okay, okay," Demyx said soothingly, "He has school tomorrow, right? Well, I'll just go there and make sure he's alright. Don't worry."

"No, go after him now…"

"I don't know where he would go. I would be on a wild goose-chase all night." Demyx brushed some of the red hair sticking to Axel's face away. "I'll make sure he's okay tomorrow. You just try to get some rest, okay?"

Seeing no way around it, Axel nodded slightly as Demyx kissed his forehead and left the room.

Roxas didn't want to go back to the apartment. He knew Demyx would eventually go back there, and he didn't really feel like dealing with him at the moment. So he ran. Ran to nowhere. Just ran and ran until finally he collapsed on the ground. He didn't want to get up. Hell, he probably could have stayed there for the rest of his hopefully short life. But he recognized this neighborhood. It was Riku's neighborhood. He hadn't talked with the platinum-haired boy in a long time, but maybe this was something he could help him with. After all, they were still friends, right?

He wandered through the neighborhood, not used to maneuvering in the dark. Eventually, he found Riku's house and knocked on the door, tentatively but firmly.

Riku started awake at the noise. He had been up in the living room watching late-night TV. He must have dozed off. He rubbed his eyes and was just wondering whether or not he had actually heard anything when there was another knock.

He stumbled up and towards the door. Who the hell could be here so late? There was another knock. "I'm coming," he mumbled, too quietly for the person outside to possibly hear him.

He threw the door open, prepared to chew the person out for disturbing him so late, but didn't expect to be practically floored by a body slamming into him. Luckily, he gripped the doorframe and managed to stay upright. He looked down and recognized the mop of blonde hair, even in the near-darkness.

"Roxas?" His eyes widened. He thought the blonde didn't want to see him again, and really he couldn't blame him for it. So what was he doing here now?

"Riku…" Roxas sobbed. It was then that Riku realized his shirt was soaked with tears. Quickly, he ushered the blonde in and led him to the couch. Roxas didn't let go of him the entire time, so it was a little awkward.

Riku managed to separate the blonde from his torso so he could look him directly in the face. Roxas' eyes were bloodshot and tears were streaming down his face. His hair was a little matted; it looked like it had gotten a fair amount of tears soaked into it. All-in-all, he looked pretty horrible. The platinum-haired boy wiped away a few of the tears from the sparkling blue eyes. "What happened?"

The blonde bit his lip. "A-Axel…he, uhm…I just…" what came after that could only be described as incoherent babble, but Riku got the gist of it. Besides, all that mattered now was that the blonde was here and he was hurting.

Riku pulled Roxas back to him in an embrace as the blonde started crying again, harder than before. He started rocking him back and forth soothingly until the blonde finally stopped crying and dozed. He let Roxas' head rest on his lap and stared down at him. He really was just like Sora. How many nights had the brunette come to him in hysterics, seeking comfort? Usually it was because he and Kairi had had a fight. Riku could never help feeling so jealous that Sora wouldn't break up with the red-haired girl, but Sora always told him that he couldn't hurt her like that.

The platinum-haired boy couldn't argue. Kairi was his friend too. He loved her with all his heart, but he loved Sora so much more and wished that the brunette wasn't ashamed of him.

Riku's stomach clenched as the memories flooded his mind. He had never had the chance to tell Sora how he felt. The last time they had seen each other, they had fought. About the same old thing. Riku wanted Sora to break up with Kairi, Sora protested. Riku had ended up getting so angry that he'd slapped his younger lover. Afterwards, he stared, stunned, as the brunette stood up from the floor, cradling his bruised cheek. He just couldn't believe he had done that. He tried to apologize, but Sora ended up storming out. He had avoided Riku for the better part of a week. Riku was always too much of a coward to go up to him and try to make things right again. He figured Sora would come to him when he was ready to forgive the platinum-haired boy.

But then it was too late. He could remember clearly the day Sora and Roxas hadn't been in school. He figured they had both gotten sick or had gone on some family trip or something. It had been the farthest thing from his mind. But the next day, when the principal had announced over the intercom that Sora had died in a car crash and his brother Roxas was in the hospital, his heart felt like it had died and fallen to the bottom of his ribcage.

At first, he didn't believe it. Sora couldn't be dead, he was just out of sight. The principal must have lied, it must have all been a big joke. For a while, he believed that, and almost laughed when he saw Kairi crying. She was falling for the trick, she would feel like such an idiot at the end. It even got so bad that Riku had called their house. Nobody picked up any of the hundred-or-so times he called.

It wasn't until the funeral that it really hit him. He sat there, watching everyone give their condolences, trying to hide a smile because he knew they all must be in on it. And then it was Roxas' turn to speak. The blonde didn't look so good. He was pretty banged-up. However, he wasn't like the others. He wasn't crying like everyone else. Instead, his eyes looked…dead. Like he wasn't really seeing anything at all. It was almost frightening

When he sat down, someone leaned over to Riku and said, "That's him. He was driving when it happened. It was his fault," in a loud stage whisper. He could see the muscles on Roxas' back tense and Riku knew he had heard them. And, like a bolt of lightning, it hit him. At that moment, Riku knew that it wasn't a joke. And he knew, as they lowered the coffin into the ground, that his best friend and lover was inside it. Suddenly, Riku felt sick. He rushed away from the funeral to a small patch of trees. Nobody even noticed.

Riku kneeled down by the tree and threw up until his stomach was empty. He couldn't stop the tears that came after that, they just wouldn't stop. He was gone. His beautiful blue-eyed brunette whom he loved more than himself was gone. And he was never coming back.

Riku had to fight back the tears as he remembered. It wasn't fair, that Sora had been taken away from him. The brunette had been the only person he had ever loved. And he was the sweetest person he'd ever known, he shouldn't have been taken away before his time. It just wasn't fair.

A few tears fell from the platinum-haired boy's eyes and landed on Roxas cheek, rousing the blonde. He opened his eyes and stared up at Riku, desperately trying to wipe his eyes dry.

"Riku?" He sat up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Riku said, pulling him back down, "Just go back to sleep." Roxas desperately wanted to press the matter, but was too tired to protest. In less than a minute, he fell back into a lazy doze.

Riku allowed Roxas to stay with him for a while. The blonde never talked about the reason he had come there in the first place and Riku didn't ask. It didn't really matter anyway, so long as the blonde was here and okay.

They were in homeroom, about 3 days afterwards, when Demyx came in. Roxas mouth dropped open as the taller blonde caught sight of him and waved. Roxas scowled at him and tried to ignore him, but he came up to him anyway.

"Hey there, Roxy," he said cheerfully, leaning against the table. Roxas turned away, pointedly ignoring him. "Aw, don't be like that." Roxas continued to ignore him. Demyx sighed. "Fine. Then I'll just say why I'm here. Axel really misses you, Roxas. He tried to get up to go after you way too many times to count and I've had to practically strap him down to keep him from hurting himself. He's miserable without you."

Roxas scoffed. "Why would he need me when he has you? I would think one would be enough for him, don't you?"

Demyx winced. "That's not really fair, Roxas. I was the one who kissed him back at the hospital. If you want to hate someone, hate me."

"He wasn't exactly fighting back," Roxas muttered darkly.

Demyx glanced over at Riku, who was staring with a worried expression at the blondes. His gaze flicked over to Demyx's. He didn't know what was going on, but it obviously had something to do with this guy.

Demyx sighed and turned back to Roxas. "I guess I'm just going to have to tell him you won't come home. He'll be heartbroken."

"Good," Roxas snarled, "Maybe now he won't do it to me so often."

Demyx glanced at the younger blonde sadly, then left the room.

At the end of the day, Roxas had left to spend some time with Namine, so Riku was left to walk home alone. He was about halfway there when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. Following the arm, he found the blonde who had been in homeroom, Demyx. He grinned at the platinum-haired boy. "Hey there. Mind if we talk?"

Riku was skeptical, but nodded, pushing the older boy's hand off of his shoulder roughly. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Maybe I should start again. My name is Demyx." He held out a hand for Riku to shake. The platinum-haired boy stared at it but didn't shake it. The blonde laughed sheepishly and took it back. "Actually, I need to talk to you about Roxas."

"What about him?" Riku said, narrowing his eyes.

"Uh…" The older boy looked intimidated, "You're his friend, right?"

"Yes, I am. What's it to you?"

"Do you know where he's staying?"

"And what if I do?"

"Look," Demyx said desperately, "I need to know. Someone I love very much misses him and just wants to make things right again. Do you know someone named Axel?"

That got Riku's attention. Of course he knew Axel. He was the guy Roxas had been living with before. And Roxas had been constantly sobbing his name out last night. "Yes…" he said slowly, "I know Axel."

"Then you've gotta help! Look, I did a terrible thing and I need to make sure it's all set right because I love him too much to let him be hurt like this. Please, I'm begging you."

Riku considered his options. From what he could gather, Roxas and Axel had been more than roommates. But something had happened and that's why Roxas had been so broken before. Should he really help someone who had possibly hurt his best friend?

Sighing, Riku took out a piece of paper and wrote his address on it. He was going to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. "Here. He's staying here."

Demyx snatched the paper up with a huge grin. "Thank you so much, uh…"

"Riku."

"Riku." The blonde grinned again and headed back to the hospital. Riku watched him go, wondering if he had just done the right thing.

When Demyx got back to the hospital, he gave Axel the address. The redhead was so happy he wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck and practically squeezed the air out of him.

"Thank you so much, Demyx," he whispered, "I'll never, ever forget this."

The blonde smirked. "Anytime. That's what best friends are for, right?"

Axel nodded slightly.

Demyx pulled away from the bone-crushing hug and smoothed out his clothes. "Well, I'm gonna get going."

"You're going back to the apartment? Good idea. I'm getting out in about an hour so I'll meet you…"

"No, I mean back home." He sighed. "I don't think I should be hanging around here anymore. It's obvious I'm not needed. And besides, I need to get back for work and school. And Xaldin's gonna be worried." He grinned. "I sure will miss you buddy."

Axel smiled back at him. "I'm gonna miss you too, Dem. Be sure to call, okay?"

"Okay." Demyx stepped forward and gave him a brotherly hug. "You take care of yourself and Roxas." He pulled away and waved slightly before leaving.

When they released him from the hospital, finally, Axel was so giddy he could hardly stand to fill out the necessary paperwork. As soon as it was done, he raced straight towards the address given to Demyx by Riku.

It was a nice house, dark blue, and one story. Not much of a yard in the front, but maybe the back was bigger. Axel took in all these details as he stepped up to the door, butterflies in his stomach. Tentatively, before he could lose his nerve, he knocked on the door.

"Roxas, can you get that?" Riku said while he raided through the fridge. Roxas rolled his eyes at Riku's complete laziness and went to open the door. When he swung it open and caught sight of the shockingly read hair, Roxas' mouth dropped open. How had Axel known he was here?

Axel smiled at him. "He-" Before he could finish, Roxas tried to slam the door shut. But Axel was too quick. He caught it just before it hit the frame. "Roxas, we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you," he said, trying to get away as the redhead stepped inside.

"What's going on?" Riku said, coming into the hallway.

"Riku…" Roxas smiled, relieved. "Riku, please tell him to leave. This is your house, make him leave."

Riku glanced first at Roxas, then at Axel. His eyes widened ever-so-slightly and at first it looked like he would kick the redhead out. But, slowly, he put his arms out to the side, blocking Roxas' escape.

Roxas blue eyes widened. "R-Riku? What are you doing?"

"You can't avoid it forever, Roxas," he said quietly.

"W-what are you…?" He felt a hand grip his arm. He swiveled around to find Axel hanging on. "Let go of me!" He tried to twist away, but the redhead had a firm grip.

"Just listen to me!" Axel practically shouted, grabbing his other arm and facing the blonde towards him. "Roxas, please listen to me…"

"I don't want to!" He screamed, still trying to twist away. "You're a bastard! I hate you, Axel!"

Those words pounded into him like physical blows but still he held on. "You don't hate me," he said, shaking his head, "You love me. And I betrayed that by kissing Demyx. I'm sorry, Roxas, truly I am and I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe that."

"Why the hell should I believe you?!" Roxas screeched, still trying to get away, "You could be lying for all I know."

"I'm not lying." With some difficulty, Axel drew Roxas to him and held him tightly to his chest. "Roxas, I'm not lying. I would never want to hurt you, because I love you."

There was a slight hesitation in the struggling, but then the blonde picked it up again, stronger than before. "Liar!" He screeched, using his now-free arms to hit Axel anywhere he could. "You're a fucking liar! I hate, I hate you, I hate you!!"

He kept repeating that one phrase, and they hurt more than any of the punches he threw. Sobbing would punctuate his voice until it became practically incoherent. After a while, he stopped screeching, he stopped hitting, just sobbed into the older boy's chest gently fisting his shirt.

"I hate you," he whispered, only loud enough for Axel to hear. Axel took one of his arms from the young blonde and used it to tilt Roxas' face upwards. "I love you, too," he whispered, pressing his lips to the blonde's.

Roxas didn't resist, actually kissed back fiercely, taking his arms and wrapping them around Axel's neck. He was still crying, and the taste of salt mingled with his natural taste. Axel had missed this more than anything.

When they finally parted, Axel laid his forehead on Roxas' and stared into his eyes. They were red and puffy, and there were still tears, but Axel thought that he had never seen a more beautiful sight.

"D-did you really mean what you s-said?" Roxas gulped. "That you…l-loved me?"

Axel nodded and kissed him again, gently. "I did mean it. I meant it with my whole heart. And I'm going to prove it to you."


	21. To love and be loved in return

AN: -Sob- Well my friends, it has come to an end. I promised myself I wouldn't cry... T T Failing!!! Gah, I can't help it. This chapter will make you cry, for certain. It made me cry and it takes a hell of a lot to make me cry. -Fights to regain composure- Anyway, it's the chapter you've all been waiting for. Tis the smex. :D Oh, and if it's not all that great please don't get on my case about it. I usually don't write lemons, remember. In fact, I avoid them as much as possible. But it needed to be done in this chapter, so it's done. -Hits self with bat- And this chapter is kinda schmultzy. I don't normally do schmultz, but I just had to because it struck and it fit. Uhm...the ending bit is a little cliche and yes I did steal the line from Kingdom Hearts 2 after Axel and Roxas battle but I just love that line so much and I just had to use it becuase I am a LOSER. -Paints big L on forehead- Yes, I can't come up with my own lines so I have to steal them. Story of my life! Anyway, for the last time in this story, REVIEWERS!!!

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You all are just so great. I love you! -Glomp- I hope you guys stick with me on Cruel Intentions as much as you did on this one, which by the way I will be working on full-time now that this is done with. Oh, funny thing. This chapter is mostly in Axel's POV. Yeah, kind of an interesting take on it since we've never had his point of view before. Okay, I have a bit of a request. If it's at all possible, could you guys do 24 reviews? I only need that much to reach 300 which I will be very happy if I reach that. And a happy AlphaOmegaPsi is an updating AlphaOmegaPsi. I don't care how you do it, just please I really want to reach it. By the way, GB, don't forget to not read this one. You told me to remind you so I'm reminding you. :D Okay, I've rambled long enough. Now, for the final time, let's get on with the fic.

Disclaimer: Can't you see I'm grieving over the end of my fanfic? Won't you leave me in peace?! -Curls up in a fetal position-

* * *

It's been nearly a week since Roxas came home. After thanking Riku for taking such good care of him, I grabbed what few things he had taken and brought him home. He was much too tired for talking, so he went straight to bed. And in the morning…well, he acted like nothing had happened. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and ate breakfast like normal. I didn't press the issue because I didn't want him mad at me. What was really strange, though, is that he didn't try to advance on me like he did before. I'd think after what I promised he would be all over me, but he seemed…distant almost. Though I'd catch him sneaking looks at me often. I guess he was waiting for me to make the first move. 

Speaking of that promise…well, I haven't really had a chance to fulfill it yet. Something always seemed to get in the way. It's not that I was avoiding it, that wasn't it at all, but with making up in work and paying bills and eating and such I really haven't had a free moment.

But today, I asked off early because I was feeling "sick." They completely bought it, telling me to go home and get some rest. But I didn't go home right away. No, first was a quick stop at the pharmacy. When I got home, I hid my purchase in the drawer next to my bed and sat down at the table, waiting for Roxas to get home.

It was an hour before he opened the door and stared at me incredulously. I couldn't blame him, I wasn't really supposed to be home for another few hours. I grinned over at him. "Hey, welcome home."

He blinked. "Hey…what are you doing back so early?"

I shrugged. "The restaurant decided to let me off early." Hey, it was kind of the truth. I just didn't tell him that I gave them a reason to let me off early. I grinned at him again. "Isn't that great?"

He shrugged one shoulder casually, but I couldn't help but notice the jerkiness of the movement. "I guess," he said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

I smirked. "So, what do you want for dinner tonight?"

"It doesn't matter, whatever you want."

"No, come on. Anything you want, I'll make it."

"Well…fine, how about steak, mashed potatoes, and broccoli?"

I grinned. "No problem, Roxy. I'll start now."

It took about 3 hours. With the peeling and cutting and washing and boiling of the potatoes, that took about 2 hours in itself. I'm a really slow peeler or else it would have been done much earlier. And then I realized I'd forgotten to thaw the steak while I was peeling so I had to stick it in the microwave before cooking.

Anyway, I finally finished. To top everything off, I fished some candles out of the drawer and set them in holders on the now clothed table. Yeah, I can be romantic when I want to be.

I stuck my head into the living room. "Oh, Roxy," I sang out cheerfully, "Dinner is ready."

He raised an eyebrow at my tone, but I pretended not to notice as I went back into the kitchen to take my place.

Stunned would be a good word for the look on his face when he came into the kitchen. I couldn't blame him; I had never done anything like this before. And I had to say, it looked a lot different with the glow of candlelight instead of the light from the fluorescents. I grinned. "You like?"

"Yeah…" he said quietly, "It's really nice. Why did you…?"

"What, I can't have a nice dinner with my boyfriend without there being a reason?" I rolled my eyes in mock anguish. "I guess I'm going to have to blow out these candles and have a regular old dinner. Oh, woe is me." I laughed at the glare Roxas sent my way as he sat down.

"It's nice," he said as he ate. "Is there a reason, though?"

"Not particularly," I said, shrugging, "I didn't feel like going out, that's all. Think of it as a date."

"Hmm," Roxas said in amusement, eating quickly. Almost too quickly, I noticed. He didn't even seem to realize what he was eating, he just ate. If I hadn't taken them away, I'm sure he would have eaten the silverware too.

"Looks like we finished a little early," Roxas said nervously, trying hard not to look at me, it seemed. I smirked.

"Looks like it," I said, putting the dishes in the sink and leaning against the counter. "What ever will we do now?"

Roxas glared at me impatiently, but I just kept staring at him with that same smirk planted on my face. I knew what was going to happen. And I knew he knew what was going to happen. Now the only thing left was for one of us to make the first move. Here's a hint: It wasn't going to be me.

I think we literally stood there staring at each other for more than five minutes before he finally stood up. But instead of walking over to me, like I expected, he went back into the living room.

I was stunned. No more than a few months ago, he would have jumped at this chance and now he was going to ignore it? Well, Axel Nageshi isn't ignored that easily. Pushing myself away from the counter, I pushed the swinging door open.

He wasn't in there. The little brat. I looked in his room and he wasn't there either. That only left two rooms. Laughing quietly to myself, I went into my own room.

My suspicions proved to be correct. Roxas was laying on my bed in just his jeans. Where his shirt went, I really can't say. He was laying on his back, knees in the air, hands behind his head. He was staring at me with practically glowing eyes, just waiting. Damn, this kid could be a tease if he wanted to.

I gulped to regain control and closed the gap between me and the bed. I set a knee on the bed to keep my balance. Through all of this, only his eyes moved. I had to wonder if the blonde had done this before, but I didn't like the thought of anyone else touching him, so I dismissed that.

I leant down slowly, teasingly. And I couldn't help but think how strange it was that we were both so reluctant to make the first move. Maybe it was because we knew that after this there was no denying it anymore. If we did this, it would confirm everything. And a part of us was scared of that happening. Scared that taking this step would change us, in a way.

I stopped just before we made contact. "Are you absolutely sure about this?" I whispered against his lips. I sensed the slightest hesitation before he wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me.

And maybe it wasn't so bad. I had always tried to avoid this simply because it scared me to do this with someone I wasn't sure I completely loved. I was scared to do this because I didn't want to hurt him and get his hopes up. But I now know that I do love him. I can't imagine my life without him, even thought we've only known each other 6 short months. But in those months I've learned a lot about what it is to be human. This small, beautiful creature under me has been through so much, too much. He's been broken too many times. But just by doing one thing, just by saving him and refusing to give up on him like so many others have, he's starting to mend. Slowly but surely, he's healing.

Roxas broke the kiss and stared at me. I couldn't help but look right back, into his deep blue eyes. I could sense the trust in those Cerulean pools. He knew I would never hurt him.

Slowly, I leaned forward and started kissing and sucking at his neck. Every once in a while, I'd bite down gently, leaving a faint mark in my wake. The silence was punctured with small moans and gasps from the blonde teen under me.

I sat up to remove my own shirt and climbed onto the bed more for a better angle. I swung a leg over the blonde's skinny form so that I was straddling him, but I made sure not to crush him. In this angle, however, both our erections were touching, causing a gasp from both of us.

Almost desperately, Roxas started to undo my pants. We were done, it seemed, with the slow thing. Things were quickly heating up and, before I knew it, the blonde had his hand wrapped around my member tightly.

I couldn't help but let out a choked gasp followed by a low moan as he started to pump up and down. If I hadn't been so distracted, I would have again wondered if he had done this before.

He continued, alternating between hard and soft strokes. He was pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I could feel the heat coiling in my lower belly and I knew what was coming.

"Roxas…gonna…"

He quickly pulled his hand away. At my questioning glance, he smirked and sat up to whisper in my ear, "I want you to save your cum for when you fuck me."

I shuddered at that, and especially at the husky way he said it. Slow and sweet was long gone and forgotten as I pushed him back roughly and started kissing him again just as roughly. Without looking, I undid his pants and yanked them down. With some careful maneuvering, they were off and I threw them in a random direction. Imagine my delight when I reached back down for the boxers…and found that Roxy had gone commando. My, that was interesting.

I pulled away from the kiss again and sat back so I could admire his body. It was so small and skinny. He wasn't muscular at all. He seemed almost like he would break at the slightest touch. How had I never noticed before just how fragile he was? Quickly I discarded my pants and boxers and reached into the drawer of my bedside table. I pulled out the tube of lubricant I had bought that afternoon at the pharmacy. I squeezed out a small amount onto my palm, all the while aware that Roxas' eyes were on me, and rubbed my hands together. I stuck my hand in between his legs and slowly pushed a finger into his entrance.

Instantly, his face screwed up in pain. My heart leapt sickeningly, because I knew that I had caused that pain. But, I knew just as well that if I didn't do this it would hurt even more.

I rubbed his leg soothingly as I inserted another finger and scissored. His cry of pain cut right through me and I was tempted to stop, but he just groaned, "Keep…going…"

I tried to do it as quickly as possible, while simultaneously trying to make it hurt as little as possible. But, there was no getting around the fact that it did hurt. Eventually, though, he got used to it enough and relaxed. When it seemed like he was stretched enough, I removed my fingers and reached for the lube again. This time, I coated my erection with a thin layer of the slimy substance and positioned myself at his entrance. I leaned down and whispered, "Relax," in his ear before kissing him and thrusting at the same time.

I didn't thrust too hard, just enough to get inside, but I knew it had to hurt because he tensed up almost instantly and clung to my shoulders like a lifeline. I broke the kiss.

"You have to relax," I whispered, "Or it's gonna hurt more."

Tears at the corners of his eyes, he nodded. Slowly, he relaxed enough for me to slide in all the way, up to the hilt. I kissed his eyelids each in turn and waited for his okay before I would move.

After a few minutes, he buried his face in the crook of my neck and nodded, urging me to go on. I started at a steady slow pace. I wanted to go fast, really wanted to feel Roxas, but I refused to hurt him. That didn't seem to be a problem, however. After a while, he cried out again. But instead of it being a cry of pain, it was a cry of pleasure.

"Th-there," he said breathlessly, "Hit it…again."

It took a couple tries for me to find the specific spot, but once I had found it I didn't lose it again. I kept hitting it over and over again and each time was rewarded with a cry or moan right in my ear.

It didn't take long at all for Roxas to come right between our stomachs, practically screaming my name. It took a few more thrusts as he clenched around me, before I moaned his name into his ear and came inside of him.

In the dizziness that followed, I was careful to fall to the side and not straight down, so I wouldn't crush him. In doing so, I ended up pulling out of him. Roxas was panting and covered in sweat. His cheeks were bright red and his eyes were glazed over. I had never seen him look more beautiful than at that moment.

I reached over and pulled him to me. He buried his face into my chest and I could feel his breath on my skin. Cleaning up crossed my mind, but both of us were too tired to really do anything at the moment. So we just laid there, basking in the afterglow.

Just as I felt myself begin to drift off, I kissed the top of Roxas' blonde head. "I love you, Roxas," I mumbled, stroking his hair gently. I felt the slightest movement from the blonde and forced my eyes open to find blue eyes staring at me.

"I love you, too, Axel," he said, placing a kiss on my lips. I smiled and allowed my eyes to slide shut, finally.

* * *

When Roxas woke up, the first thing he could think of was feeling sore. The events of the previous night came rushing back to him, causing him to smile. When he moved to find Axel on the bed, all that happened was that he winced slightly from the pain and that his hand fell on a piece of paper. His eyes flew open to find no Axel in sight, much to his disappointment. 

He brought the paper in his hand closer to his eyes. On it, scribbled hurriedly in Axel's handwriting, were the words,

_On the roof._

Roxas frowned. Why the hell was the redhead on the roof? He sat up and stretched, wincing again as a few bones popped. Nevertheless, it did make him feel better. Glancing at the digital clock, he was surprised to find it read 3:24 AM. The blonde rolled his eyes. He'd never get to sleep again without Axel here, so he might as well go join the older boy.

He collected his jeans and slid them on. He didn't bother with finding his shirt again. He couldn't remember where he had thrown the thing and besides, it was warm outside. It may have been nearly December, but it never got cold around here.

It took the blonde a minute to get up the elevator and onto the roof. Luckily, it didn't take much searching to find the redhead. He was sitting on the far end with his legs dangling off the edge, staring out at the town. He was so deep in thought that he didn't hear Roxas as he made his way towards him. It was only when Roxas was right behind him that he noticed the small plume of smoke.

"Since when do you smoke?" He said right into Axel's ear, causing the redhead to jump and look around.

"Roxas!" He said, grinning, taking the cigarette from his mouth. "I was hoping you would wake up and come up here with me."

"You shouldn't have left in the first place," the blonde said, rolling his eyes and sitting next to Axel. "And I repeat: Since when do you smoke?"

"Oh." Axel laughed sheepishly. "I used to, a long time ago. But I quit. Now I only have one on special occasions."

"Hmmm…special, huh?" Roxas plucked the cigarette from his hand and put it out on the concrete next to him. "These things are bad for you. I never want to see you with one again, understood?"

"Yes, mother," Axel said, rolling his eyes light-heartedly. He wrapped his arm around Roxas waist and pulled him close. Roxas, in turn, laid his head on the redhead's shoulder, staring out at the town that he could see for miles.

"Wow," the blonde whispered, "What a beautiful view."

Axel, who was looking at Roxas, kissed the top of his head lightly. "I completely agree."

* * *

Sora, unable to be seen by the two, looked on with a serene smile. He had been worried that his brother wouldn't be able to make it, what with the suicide attempts. And there had been a few times that he was actually scared for Roxas' safety. But he was glad it had worked out so well in the end. He was sure that Axel would take care of him. 

And now, there was only one thing left to do. The transparent brunette stepped off the edge of the building. But instead of falling, he was suddenly in a lighted kitchen. There was a table in the middle of the room. A platinum-haired youth was slumped over, his head in his hands, asleep. A photograph of him and a young spiky-haired brunette peeked out from under one arm.

Sora smiled sadly. He had been worried for Riku too. But now, it seemed, he would be alright. He had friends who could help him, and someday he would find someone to love just as much as he had loved Sora. Leaning down, the brunette whispered into Riku's ear, "I will always love you, Riku," before disappearing completely.

The platinum-haired boy started awake. He knew he had heard Sora's voice, telling him he loved him. But that wasn't possible.

"Must have been a dream," he muttered miserably, unsticking the picture from his arm and looking at it. His eyes widened as he found test written there, in bright red letters:

_Let's meet again, in the next life._

Riku's eyes welled up with tears and he held the picture to his heart, smiling. "Yeah," he said, choking up, "I'll be waiting."

**FIN**


End file.
